Transportation for Grandparents

I’m actually having the lady that cleans my grandparents house drive them to the wedding and back home (she’ll stay for the festivities as well). She has known them for a long time and knows my family so I didn’t think it was too weird to ask her.

Can you talk to people you know in the area to see if anyone knows any drivers? My mom’s friend has like a part-time driver business... it’s not a “limo” or anything, just his giant Honda Pilot haha, but he’s someone we know so I prefer that to using an Uber. Maybe ask around to see if you know someone who knows someone who does something like this.

Are you also uneasy about normal taxi services? Otherwise I don't see another way of them getting to their home..I can't think of another way other than what Gen suggested above.

Is there a reason you are hesitant with Uber or Lyft? If they are not in the area, that’s totally understandable but I’ve never had an issue and have used them reliably all over the country

Why don't you want to use Uber or Lyft? These are services designed for exactly what you need. There is no minimum number of hours, and you can usually get a ride within a few minutes of ordering it on the app. I have used Lyft many times in different states and cities, and have always had a positive experience. It's just so easy, I don't know why everyone doesn't use it.

I suppose my biggest worry is just that there have been a lot of scary things with them. My hesitation is because they are potentially people I don't trust. But it is true that the majority of people have safe experiences so I will look into it. Thanks all!

If the grandparents have any friends in the area that'd probably be good for them too.

View Quoted Comment Most of the stories with Uber and lyft are people pretending to be drivers for them. If you go that route have grandparents ask the driver the name of the people they are picking up.

View Quoted Comment I’ve used both Uber and Lyft many times without issue. You know exactly who the driver is by name and photo, and you can track their route home from your phone. I think that any car service you use will potentially be someone that you don’t trust, so the only other option would be one of their friends or get them a hotel room close by.

I would go with someone you know or someone your grandparents know. Are they too far away for a cousin to duck out briefly to drop them off?

I use Uber pretty heavily (we're a one-car household right now) and I know warning signs to look out for and how to Uber safely, but I wouldn't put my grandmother in one. She wouldn't necessarily know how to spot red flags, de-escalate conversations, not overshare, etc. She also wouldn't be able to follow the route in app to see if the driver was going astray.

Most of the Uber drivers I've had have been delightful, but I've been a bit worried for my safety a handful of times. Uber was great in dealing with it, of course, but I'm proactive and knew how to reach them through the app.

I'm also not as physically vulnerable or limited as my grandmother. I could make a run for it at a stop light if I had to.

I'd err on the side of extra caution in this case--if only so you're not worried about them while celebrating.

Do you have any 16 - 20 year old cousins who could do it? Because that would be my first choice. They are sober, and generally grumpy anyway. Lol.

I wouldn't put my grandmother in an Uber or Lyft either. She doesnt have a smartphone and someone who did would have to do it. And that could create problems.

We have a neighbor lady who lives with and is a care taker for another elderly lady in my town that is invited. If my grandmother was able bodied and needed a ride, I would suggest she ride with them. Idk if you have someone like that, but that's my best current suggestion.

You actually have brought up a very good question I'm going to have to start looking for answers to myself.

I agree with PP- do you have a 16-20 year old cousin who could drive? What about a trusted neighbor?

You could also call a car service, one that isn't your typical taxi or Uber.

Does your city have a local transit system? They sometimes have special buses for the elderly/disabled. Perhaps you can find look into it on Google or try calling a local adult activities center.

There are horror stories with the companies like lyft and uber but theres also great stories as well. Theres terrible stories about busing companies and taxi services but ultimately its all the same stuff. Most horror stories I have read were people impostering those drivers not the drivers themselves. Whats nice about these services over a taxi is you can track it from your phone. You can see where they are going when they get picked up and dropped off its very nice actually. I understand the hesitation but thjis right here is exactly what these services were made for... to not inconvenience people and beg for rides. I would personally feel more comfortable using uber or lyft then I would with most taxi companies. Honestly without having family do it it probably won't be an option without using one of those services. Hope you can figure it out. Good luck!

I would trust Uber/lyft over a cousin under 21. They may end up drinking underage at your wedding and I wouldn’t want to put my grandparents in that situation if the cousin drives anyways. Not to mention you could be held liable if anything happened. My 80+ yo grandma has taken Uber’s by herself before (including ordering them herself) and prefers it over a taxi if family isn’t available to drive her places since she can see the route and send it to someone else.

If they don’t have a smart phone, I suggest letting them borrow someone’s/yours for the night. Someone can help them order a ride and then “send an ETA” to another family member which would allow you to track their route and ensure they get home safely. If they are hesitant you could also try doing a practice run with them before the wedding to show them how it works and how to see their route. As PPs have said, make sure they/your family are verifying the drivers name/car/license plate and that the driver verifies the name of whoever ordered it. I always wait for the driver to say “are you x” before I verify their name

I agree with Gen, I would look into someone that drives on the side. My grandmother has someone we refer to as her driver who is a neighbor that appreciates making a little extra money on the side. Usually he and his wife drive her to our home and then go out to dinner while we're doing whatever we're doing, then they come to collect her later

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Ok, there have been stories about people posing as Uber or Lyft drivers, then committing crimes against passengers.

However, it's an easy fix: when you order the ride, and a driver accepts the job, you get a photo of the driver, his name, and his contact information. You also get a picture of the car he will be driving, right down to the color! So, if someone other than that person shows up, you don't get in the car!! News media likes to sensationalize this kind of thing. I'm sure things have happened, but if you're paying attention, you can easily avoid a bad situation. It really just takes common sense.

View Quoted Comment We've used Uber for my grandparents before and it has made life much easier.

Daughters grandparents live in an over older community so we were going to let them invite another couple that could drive and they can all come and go together. Maybe this could work for you?

I paid for my grandparents to stay in the hotel less than a mile away from my venue and I'm paying a taxi to drop them off/pick them up.