Traditions?

For the wedding party its a thank you for standing up with you and supporting your marriage

If your parents aren't contributing to the wedding, you technically don't need to give them a gift if you don't want to. Your bridal party is usually spending a lot of money and time to help you celebrate (pre-wedding events, attire, hair/makeup, etc.) so the thank you gift is to show your appreciation for everything they've done. That being said, there isn't a law that states you must give these gifts or anything. If you truly don't see the need and you don't think not giving a gift will upset these people (or you don't care if you upset them), then you can forgo the gifts.

It's a thank you to those people for being supportive and helping you in other ways that aren't monetary

While you are paying for the wedding, your bridesmaids have bought a dress, shoes, likely paid for hair and makeup to be done, and planned a shower and/or bachelorette party in your honor. Since you asked them to be involved, they stepped up to the plate and did these things with their own money and time so you can have a wonderful wedding and all the related events. You get them a gift to thank them for that.

As for parents, it’s often to thank them for helping financially or just with planning and decision making throughout the planning process. I’ve also seen people acknowledge their parents for sticking with them and not giving up while they went through rough patches, which helped lead them to the happiness and life they now have.

View Quoted Comment Oh, then I need to ask for a Tote Bag (full of nice things) to be returned to me from one Bridesmaid.

She VOLUNTEERED herself to be in my Bridal party, was a bit combative at times, and did absolutely nothing to help me at all. She ordered her👗last, it was not the right color, and she was just about spilling out of it on one side at the top, despite me advising that she needed to be covered up top. Oh, she also wore this HORRIBLE Wig!

Then, she left the Reception early because she had made plans (so she didn’t even help clean up) and I have not heard from her since that day. We’re grilling next weekend and I will not be inviting her.

Except for giving parents photos, framed or in an album, after the wedding, there is no tradition of giving parents a gift at wedding time. That is a recent fad, but nothing in either etiquette or tradition calls for it . . . . There is a tradition of giving a single gift, not something to be used for the wedding, that is chosen for each individual person ( shop for each one as though it is their birthday, not a team gift .). . . There is no tradition of giving gifts when you ask bridesmaids, no tradition for giving them items at parties, to wear in the wedding and calling them gifts. ( They are props for your pictures. Gifts are chosen for the taste and use of the recipient, not for your wedding .). No tradition for giving everyone robes or shirts so they match for your getting ready pictures, or for personal gifts at this time. . . There is only the one, not alike for everyone, gift before the wedding. All the rest are a recent trend, fueled by wedding advertiser supported reality TV and websites, who push giving gifts every time you turn around. It is a recent, unnecessary thing. So if you do not want to do lots of gifts, or your budget is strained, write a sincere letter of thanks for parents who helped with the wedding. And a sincere thank you letter to each bridesmaid. And one gift chosen for each individual, a meaningful gift, not tumblers, candles, scented items , alike for everybody, and you will be following traditional etiquette.

View Quoted Comment That seems rude to ask for a gift back. If you don't want to be friends with her anymore than just cut your losses and move on.

Was it NOT rude of her to VOLUNTEER, then do nothing to help and then leave early because she had plans?

She doesn’t deserve the love that I put into creating the Tote bags.

View Quoted Comment Amen! 💯

It's all consumerism. Getting individual gifts for your wedding party is a tradition of thanks to them for their support. Everything else is propaganda to make you spend more money.

The parent-worship stuff is all propaganda as well unless someone is paying for or towards the wedding, but even then there doesn't need to be multiple gifts and reception moments et al.

We are paying for our wedding party's attire, so that is their real gift and we will likely add a little inexpensive item for the day of the wedding. We are also paying for hair and makeup and the flower girl's attire.

View Quoted Comment This!!!! If I see another useless item with my name on it, word bridesmaid and a date I will loose it lol

This new trend of “bridesmaid proposals” has gotten completely out of hand IMO. I called all
my girls on the phone and they already knew I was going to ask them and of course they said yes. No $200 in “boxes”. That being said, I will probably have them wear the same earrings on the wedding day which I will gift. One of my maids did this 2 years ago and I still wear said earrings. The gifts don’t need to be extravagant especially if you have a large party.

Friends & family involved in the wedding are (in my opinion) doing a TON for the bride & groom. The day is about the bride & groom so for everyone to make the trip, buy the outfits, show up, help with the wedding, etc. are doing the bride & groom a favor and doing a ton of work, so they should be thanked.

Thank you everyone for your input...I thought being asked to be in the wedding party was an honor and a gift in itself. I guess i just look at things differently. I will contemplate and look at my budget and see what can be done.

🤣🤣🤣 At some of these responses! I emailed my girls, my FH sent a Canva graphic I made to ask them.

I am paying for their makeup. I will ask for earrings only( might end up buying).
I do plan to do goddie bags for them. I am finding things on clearance at icing's(/tumblers) and will get some snacks..small bottle of wine.

My FH will work on the grooms but i found some dope playing cards on wish.

I found a lot of items I am using on wish! I've purchased some things I am currently using and they've all been quality!
No gifts for parents though. My mom is passed away but neither side is helping financially and we haven't asked. My Grandma will contribute i am sure..shes hinted at asking me the type of wedding dress I want.

While I do think the gifts and proposals have gotten out of hand lately, we did get a few small things for people that are putting effort into our big day. Our sons/best men are receiving small gifts to thank them for standing by us on our big day which means time off work and in one case flying from Texas. Our future daughter in law is doing a reading and we are giving her a gift card and small gift. We just wanted something to say thank you and we're only asking them to wear whatever black pants and shoes they have in their closets, we're buying the rest. Our parents will get photo albums after the big day. I don't think it has to be done, but it is nice to give a gift to people that put in time and money to make your day what you dreamed.

They don’t have to be a big gift either! I wrote each bridesmaid a letter, and got them earrings and ones that they could wear every day. It doesn’t have to be big!

I purchased our bridal party and our parents gifts. It was more a thank you for helping me plan, get through the stress and help me with these bottles of wine. I wanted to purchase not that I had to. We are paying for our wedding too but the desire I had to get my bridal party gifts and our immediate family was bigger than the gift themselves. Thanking them for the last 6.5 years of ups and downs, pick me ups, etc etc was kinda wrapped up in one small gift which took some thought for all of them.

I totally agree with some of the other ladies -- it's a bit out of hand.

I bought gifts for my bridesmaids to say thanks for all of the help this past year, but I just got them some silk robes (pretty nice though, from Nordstrom), mini lipsticks and necklaces to wear for the wedding. All of those things can be used the day-of and for other events too. I didn't do the giant personalized tote bag with personalized everything. I wanted something they would actually use again and again.

For the parents gifts, my parents contributed financially (and emotionally!) so I wanted to get them a gift because that's what the websites told me I should do. But I kept looking at what to get them and it was like a spa weekend, bottles of nice wine, etc. (things my parents hate, basically). I asked my parents what they might like or if they could direct me and they said that is the stupidest thing. They're just happy to see me happy and would help regardless! So once we get our photos back, I'll put them in a nice album for them but I do think the parents' gifts are excessive.

I am buying the gifts to show appreciation.

Personally, Fiance and I are paying for the whole shindig ourselves, so I feel a little funky too giving unnecessary gifts to people when the costs are already so high... This might sound greedy, and I really don't want it to come across that way, but here it goes. We're already putting in thousands of dollars to essentially throw a party for everyone else to witness our marriage. While, I am grateful for everyone's love and support, that's not costing them a penny. I am not having a bridal party, so maybe it's different for me, and no one is entitled to a gift in my situation. I do plan on gifting my bestfriend for being so loving and supportive, and really taking the place of my sister who hasn't been there for me at all. I am eternally grateful, but it'll be something sentimental, and nothing flashy. But other than that, I feel like my huge wedding is a gift in it of itself for my guests...