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MLS
Dedicated September 2021

Traditional or Non-traditional

MLS, on December 17, 2020 at 6:16 PM Posted in Community Conversations 1 29
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What are your thoughts/did (do) you:

1. Live with your future spouse before marriage? or By yourself (with family)

2. Stay in the same hotel room the night before? or different ones?

3. Bad luck to see the bride before the wedding? or first look?

4. Any other traditional things? or the opposite non-traditional?


29 Comments

Latest activity by Ivory, on April 12, 2021 at 2:27 PM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    My fiance and I are not really traditional, so:


    1. We live together even though we're not married
    2. We plan on staying in the same hotel room the night before our wedding
    3. Definitely doing a first look!
    4. We're skipping most of the wedding traditions: my fiance and I are walking down the aisle together (instead of my dad and I walking down the aisle), we're skipping the bouquet and garter tosses, skipping Dollar Dance, etc.
    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    1. We lived together before we got married.

    2. I stayed in the hotel room my grandparents got since they got one with an extra bed and my husband stayed with his best man and another friend of theirs.

    3. Originally, I was so against a first look because I wanted my husband to see me for the first time when I walked down the aisle. However, I agreed to do the first look after much debate. I'm glad we did the first look because it gave us more time together, helped with my nerves, and gave us more time to take photos so we didn't go over the hour we had to take photos during cocktail hour.

    4. We didn't do the bouquet or garter toss. It honestly wouldn't have worked out that well because most of our guests were already married. We also didn't like the idea of my husband going up my wedding in front of both of our families. Instead, we did a trivia game. We also had a bride's man and groomswoman. My maid of honor hates public speaking so my bride's man gave a toast instead of my maid of honor. I also wore converses rather than fancy heels or flats because I wanted to be comfortable and my dress was a ballgown so you couldn't see them anyways.

    • Reply
  • Dallas
    Devoted November 2020
    Dallas ·
    • Flag
    1. We lived together before the wedding
    2. We stayed at our house the night before, I got up and left while he was still sleeping to get ready though.
    3. First technical look was down the aisle! DH insisted on that! 4. We didn’t do a garter toss/bouquet throw. We did first dance together but no mother/father dance. We didn’t have the groomsmen/bridesmaids walk arm in arm (idk if that’s considered traditional) but the groomsmen walked down the aisle first in a line then the bridesmaids follow suit in a line. We also didn’t have a flower girl.
    I think that’s it!
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    1. We bought our first home after 6 months of dating and lived together for about 3 years before getting married.

    2. We stayed at home together the night before.

    3. We did a first look.

    I think we’re a good mixture of traditional and non. We do traditional things that we enjoy because we enjoy them, not because it’s what we’re “supposed to” do.

    • Reply
  • Belle
    VIP August 1997
    Belle ·
    • Flag
    1. I was a pregnant in the last year of high school, and moved in after graduating. We eloped after.


    2. We plan for our wedding on our 25th elopement anniversary. I will stay with our daughter and my son’s gf in the hotel we would use for the wedding and the following honeymoon. My dh will stay in different hotel with our 2 sons.
    3. We will have our first look in the hotel resort I am staying in at, then we have a 40 minutes drive to the beach ceremony.
    4. My mom (Italian) old tradition: I again will wear a veil but not covering my face with the veil because I am not a virgin. She also warned me with fresh flowers or nothing. Real love, real flowers and the meaning behind the flower types and colors. I am okay with that. Not a biggie.
    • Reply
  • KYLIE
    Super May 2019
    KYLIE ·
    • Flag

    1. We did not live together. I lived with a previous boyfriend and it was an emotional and logistical nightmare to untwine ourselves. I made it clear after that that I was not moving in with my now husband until we were engaged. I lived alone until the March before my May wedding. When my lease ended I moved into my then fiancé’s house and then we bought a place together that September.

    2. I stayed with my MOH and he stayed in our wedding night hotel.

    3. We did a first look.

    4. We cut a lot of traditions—no first dance, no bouquet throw, no cake.




    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag

    1. Both

    2. Stay in different one hotel rooms

    3. Bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!

    4. Not having a cake. Not dancing. Not doing any garter/bouquet toss. Not spending thousands of dollars.

    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    1. We got engaged while packing to move in together. So, lived together. ...2. Stayed in the same room at the venue for 2 nights before the wedding. 3. Evening wedding, so we saw each other during the day . Got ready together. Went for a photo session on the inn grounds. Not superstitious. ...4. Had a first dance together, alone. Danced with our parents and other relatives, when others were dancing. I did not carry a bouquet. No garter. Day after the wedding tossed small bouquets for the children.
    4 months til our honeymoon trip. We spent a couple nights at a different inn on the way home, them settled in a couple days.
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    We are quite untraditional and older so we didn’t follow many traditions.
    1. Yup, lived together first.
    2. Yup, stayed in hotel room the night before.3. Yup,first look.
    • Reply
  • Victorian Bride
    Master April 2023
    Victorian Bride ·
    • Flag
    1. Not living together.
    2. We are eloping and there is no room available at our all couples resort, so we'll spend the night together. Now when we were eloping to Ireland, we both had separate suites the night before.
    3. We will definitely see each other morning of, but after that he won't see me until I arrive at our ceremony. He's never seen my gown and he thinks it's white or ivory, but it's blush. I am designing my monarch length blush veil with blusher.4. We are having a teeny two tier cake. We might have a first dance. Not sure yet. That's about it for us. We plan on taking tons of photos.
    • Reply
  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag
    We’re pretty traditional I think
    1. Yes we lived together. He moved Into my house after about 6 months of dating. Before that I lived alone.
    2. I stayed In a hotel with my mom and sister the night before. He slept at home. 3. First look was when i walked down the isle. 4. My dad walked me down the isle, we did a first dance, we skipped the garter and bouquet toss though as there wouldn’t have been many people to participate.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Dedicated October 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    1. We lived together and bought a house together before getting engaged. I definitely couldn’t marry someone without living with them first. 2. We stayed separately the night before. I had a slumber party with girlfriends and he stayed with his family. 3. Definitely first look especially after finding out how gross the origins of the tradition of not seeing the bride before walking down the aisle are but also you get to spend more quality time with your SO with a first look.
    • Reply
  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
    • Flag

    1. We live together. We are currently living with his parents after quite a few issues with our old apartment.

    2. We will be sleeping in the same room the night before and keep it for the weekend.

    3. We will be doing a first look.

    4. My dress isn't white. I won't be doing the whole something old, blue, new, borrowed or however it goes lol. Chicken and waffles is on our menu cause my fiance is picky lol. We're having a first dance and skipping the garter/bouquet toss. Probably a couple other things I can't think of right now.

    • Reply
  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
    • Flag
    Hubby and I def arent traditional lol.


    1. We lived together since nov 2018, engaged july 2019 married may 2020.
    2. We slept in the same room the night before.
    3. We did a first look.
    4. Mhmm we didnt have a first dance. Traditional: I took his last name. We cut the cake. And did a mini honeymoon 6 months after the wedding.
    • Reply
  • Milada
    Super October 2021
    Milada ·
    • Flag

    What are your thoughts/did (do) you:

    1. Live with your future spouse before marriage? or By yourself (with family)

    We've lived together for three years.

    2. Stay in the same hotel room the night before? or different ones?

    I believe we'll be in separate accommodations. I want a sleepover with my bridesmaids lol.

    3. Bad luck to see the bride before the wedding? or first look?

    He wants a First Look. I thought it was bad luck BUT we're having a minimony earlier in the year so I don't mind so much now

    4. Any other traditional things? or the opposite non-traditional?

    My son is walking me down the aisle instead of my father. We aren't doing parent dances but will be doing a First Dance with our sons.

    • Reply
  • Molly
    Expert May 2022
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    1. We have lived together for over 6 years. Bought 2 homes together and sold one. (Practically already married but not officially)

    2. We are still trying to decide on that one. For destination weddings or somewhere far I would say different hotel rooms with your wedding party. Our wedding will be close to home, so no need for us to get a hotel.

    3. We are kind of doing both. I wanted "first look" photos/videos at the venue, but we are getting married at a church. I will be having 2 very different looks so I get to do both I guess.

    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    We lived together before we were married, but spent the night before the wedding apart (him at his parents', me at our place) - we're superstitious actors. Obviously, we didn't see each other before I walked down the aisle.

    I didn't take his last name, we skipped flower girl/ring bearer, didn't do garter/bouquet tosses, didn't do the honeymoon immediately, had a sword fight at the reception, my dress was in the white color range, but I'm so pale, pure white makes me look dead...

    A friend has a saying: "tradition is peer pressure from dead people" - which is a handy way to look at it! Some we accepted, some we didn't.

    • Reply
  • Annika
    Expert November 2020
    Annika ·
    • Flag

    1. Live with your future spouse before marriage? or By yourself (with family)

    I moved in with him and his parents so I could get out of a toxic situation in Dec 2018. We got our own apartment in March and have been there ever since! Hoping to get a house soon!

    2. Stay in the same hotel room the night before? or different ones?

    I stayed at home by myself and he stayed at the hotel with his best man and groomsmen to spend some quality time with them.

    3. Bad luck to see the bride before the wedding? or first look?

    We planned on a first look but for some reason it never happened. Idk if the photographer didnt remember it or if it was because we had to cram everything indoors due to bad weather lol. The first time he saw me in my dress was when I walked down the aisle, but he saw me earlier that day not dressed up yet. I was to stressed to even remember our first look plan until later that evening. We dont consider it bad luck though!

    4. Any other traditional things? or the opposite non-traditional?

    No garter/bouquet tosses, no veil over the face, wrote our own vows and had an uneven bridal party (my bridesmaids all dropped out and my cousin was the only one left. I was lucky she bothered to show up) I think this is somewhat common now but we both wore converse! We had first dances even though i really didnt want to do parent ones, but it turned out fun because my dad switched out for each of my three brothers!

    • Reply
  • Annika
    Expert November 2020
    Annika ·
    • Flag
    I should clarify we moved in together March 2019***
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    1. Living together before we get married.
    2. I’m staying at my parents house the night before. Their house can hold me, my sister (MOH) & my daughter (bridesmaid) for getting ready- the makeup/hair artist is starting at 7am & she lives closer to my parents.
    3. I don’t want to do a first look- I want him to first see me walking down the aisle. 4. Still on the fence about the garter toss but we’re adding a twist to the bouquet toss- adding scratch tickets & having all the single & attached ladies participate.
    • Reply

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