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Beginner October 2021

Traditional, Elope or Low Key Potluck

Ysa, on February 11, 2020 at 8:07 AM Posted in Planning 0 10
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Help! I migrated to the US when I was 13 years old, I couldn’t speak English and could barely afford the 40 cent lunch at school. 16 years later, through hard work, I can afford the wedding of my dreams (with a budget of about $20-25k). My family thinks I’m wasting all of this $ and should throw a potluck party at a local hall or backyard... My fiancé brought up eloping in Vegas and throw a low key party like they want as a compromise... I am going to spend in a day what some of my family members make in 1 year... I wish they were proud that I worked hard to make enough to have this wedding without taking out loans or spending all my savings up... (I am paying for 100% of it on my own)... I am not sure what to do and feel silly asking but I welcome your thoughts. In my situation, would you elope? If you did elope, did you regretted it? Thank you 🙏

10 Comments

Latest activity by Ysa, on February 12, 2020 at 7:25 AM
  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
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    If you really want the wedding of your dreams, go for it!

    Another option is you could have the wedding of your dreams, with a super limited guest list. Micro weddings are becoming more of a thing these day. Less than 50 people. Then you could have a big low key party after?

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  • E
    Savvy October 2022
    Evr25160 ·
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    Have your dream wedding!!! Also I would keep the details of wedding planning between you and your FH. You worked extremely hard to get here and will regret not doing something you’ve dreamed of for years. If you want to compromise scale it back diy stuff but I still think you should go with your heart.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Here is my perspective. Yes you could do more beneficial things with that money but you know what have the day you want. You saved up and if having the big day makes you happy then do it. You are not going into debt to have it which is different. If you and your FH are satisfied with doing that then you are a grown woman and do not need to listen to their advice. Do what makes you happy...they will be there regardless. I would say if you can do a nice lavish wedding at half the price then try to do so but if it will cost all that then do you!

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    This!!! We had an amazing wedding/reception at a luxury 5-star resort with just 15 guests and it was a dream (we did a local reception for 50 guests 3 months later).


    We had ours on a weekday night off-season, which saved us more than 50% off site fees. We also saved a lot on food/alcohol costs with only 15 guests instead of 40+ (just our dinner was $165 PP). Our dream micro-wedding cost about $15K instead of $30K.
    You can do the same. Include dream elements (venue for example), but consider a non-Saturday night or much smaller guest list to save money. I think you’ll regret not having your dream (eloping) but you don’t have to spend your entire budget. Best of both! ❤️
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  • Onya
    Expert October 2020
    Onya ·
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    Have the dream wedding! We are having ours and our dream wedding is less than 7k so it just depends on where your doing it and how many people you plan on having in attendance. It can still be modest and a dream wedding. Either way it's your choice.

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  • Summer987
    Super May 2018
    Summer987 ·
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    Have the wedding that you both want. Keep the details of the wedding and wedding budget to yourselves. No one else is funding the wedding; therefore, they do not need to know the costs or other details. Don't let others push you into something you don't want.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I'd regret not having a wedding to be honest. But I've a friend who eloped and he ended up having a reception celebration months later at a smaller scale than if he did a full wedding and that was nice. I think the point is to celebrate it whether it's small or large
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    We didn't base our wedding budget off what family or friends thought we should spend. They don't know our financial situation and really have a say in it. We wanted a big wedding so we had one. I would avoid a potluck and just do something casual but catered (like BBQ) if you want to save money.

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  • Rebelle Fleur
    Master July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
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    You worked hard for your dream so have your dream wedding. You have to live your life and with your regret. It’s none of their business how you spend the money you earn. I say go for your dream wedding. Even if you scale it back a little and only spend 10-15k as a compromise to your fiancé you can still have a beautiful wedding. But honestly I’d go big.
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  • Y
    Beginner October 2021
    Ysa ·
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    Thanks everyone! Thankfully, my fiancé and I have been together for 11 years and already own a home (we could remodel, go to a nice honeymoon or have our wedding - it comes down to where our priorities are)... I’m also saving on the dress by buying online, DIY’ing flowers and keeping the guest list to 75 max - All else will be standard price around where we live (New England). Fiancé is supportive no matter what we do. At the end of the day, only we can make that decision. Thank you all for your thoughts and support! Best of luck to all of us brides and grooms!!! ❤️
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