Toxic mom

That sounds like a big NO to me. Sorry you had to endure that as a child. For her to not even apologize or anything is even worse. I say cut that loss and move on. I wouldn’t want anyone at my wedding that I didn’t want, especially someone who has hurt me.

View Quoted Comment Yea. It’s such a scary thing. I’ve been wanting to talk to her for so long about it. I figured now is the time before my wedding. She also said she wanted to kill her self because I brought it up.

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Ugh, that is HORRIBLE and also emotionally abusive. Maybe cut communication for now, and let things lie. She sounds like a very toxic person, and I can’t image her behaving well at your wedding. Especially if she is drinking. It is not your job to take care of your mother, she didn’t even do hers and take care of you. So sorry to hear all this, girl. Sending some love your way.

If she can’t apologize for being mentally and physically abusive, especially when it’s brought up I wouldn’t invite her. Her response that she can’t change the past sounds dismissive and like she’s trying to ignore that what she did hurt you, not taking responsibility. That’d be a major no for me.

View Quoted Comment Yea. It’s so hurtful. I’m afraid my aunt won’t come because of this. They are close.

View Quoted Comment Yea. I’ve not talked to her for like 6 years before. I’m the one who tried to make us a family again. Thought maybe I would get an apology. That hasn’t happened.

View Quoted Comment Your mom sounds awful. No one should tell their kid that they want to kill themselves because of what their kid has done.
If you think you're going to be happier by not inviting her, go with that.

From a different perspective-if you expect an apology realize it most likely will never happen. You will have to forgive her and know that she’s sick. Her issue doesn’t reflect who you are. That being said, you will need to decide if you’ll regret not inviting her. She most likely will come and not be well behaved at some point. If you have a sibling that can run interference for you and push her out door that would be a solution. But I personally would have a conversation telling her why I can’t invite her because I can’t trust her not to be full blown drunk.

View Quoted Comment Yea. It’s so weird to tell a person to not drink at my wedding. But there’s a difference between having fun and drinking and being obnoxious person. I’ve been ignoring her for a while. It’s been hard to deal with, with the stress of wedding planning and working I can’t even try to process it.

You need to appoint someone as your mom wrangler. This person keeps a close eye on her and if things take a bad turn, they remove her from the wedding quickly so she doesn't get to ruin your day.

I had to do this with my father. His 2 brothers were in charge of keeping an eye on him and would have removed him if anything went down. Fortunately for once in his life, he was fairly well behaved.

I would wait until as close as possible to make that decision. And if you do invite her, hire security that can handle her quietly if she starts drinking too much.