Hi all! A little background and sorry for the long post.
I'd like some advice on how to handle a little dilemma I'll be having on our wedding day. My older sister is divorced with two kids. Her now girlfriend and her daughter live with them, and they have been in a relationship for about 4 years. Her girlfriend told my twin sister she bought a ring and is going to propose. However, they refuse to come out to anyone, no engagement has been made, and when my parents ask my sister if they are in a relationship, it's never actually answered. (My parents are fully aware they are together and more than friends.) It's caused some strife in my family, but everyone seems to be fine with each other lately.
Fast forward to yesterday evening on the phone with my twin sister and she asked if her new boyfriend would be in pictures or just be dismissed to the cocktail hour. I told her he and the other SO's will go to cocktail hour while we all take formal family/wedding party photos. She then asked what I'm going to do with my older sister's girlfriend. They both, a long with their kids, are in the wedding and will be in the wedding party pictures, but I was only expecting actual family (my older sister and her two kids) to be in the family photos. I know she is going to take offense to this when I say her girlfriend and her daughter aren't going to be in the family photo and now I don't know what to do. She is technically not family at the moment but I feel like asking her to not be in the family photos will make her feel excluded. I absolutely adore her and mean nothing personal by it. I just look at formal family photos as ones with people who are blood or married/engaged into the family.
Am I wrong to think like this? Should I just suck it up and have her included to make everyone happy?