These are in no particular order:
1. Keep dress alterations in mind when choosing a dress. The need to postpone can mean that you'll end up with a dress too big or too small or from the wrong season. Consider a dress that can have sleeves added, boleros, fur stoles, etc. for the change of season. Be prepared to add a corset back or gussets if your size changes. Make sure you budget hundreds for alterations or additional accessories.
2. Have a shorter engagement. This will allow whatever rules to remain for the duration of your engagement. This matters when it comes to gathering and travel. This also matters for getting rings back, dresses delivered, alterations made, etc. When others post on here that they wish they knew what would happen closer to their date - the short engagement would have helped (Had we only known that!).
3. Plan a wedding near to where you live. Having a destination wedding is amazing - but not if you can't even travel to your own wedding. Take it from a woman who couldn't book a hotel in her wedding state (Arkansas), if though I could drive there. Why? Out of state travelers were banned in Arkansas and I live in Missouri.
4. Plan small from the get-go, like less than 50 people. If you want to see everyone plan road trips for visits. Buy a 'traveling' elopement dress and take photos with everyone while wearing that dress. You'll end up with great memories and photos. And no one will get terribly sick as a result.
5. Make all vendor appointments in the beginning of the day - less people will have been in the places that you are meeting. And cleaning will have occurred the night before.
6. Plan to do your own hair and makeup in a pinch. Salons and such are being hit hard by shutdowns.
7. Plan to call alterations early. Why? They will be slammed for fall and 2021 with all the rescheduled weddings. Set up appointments in advance. Even the day of dress purchase. That way you know you have a seamstress and they know you are coming.
8. Make peace with hand sanitizer, masks, and very different food options. Expecting this will help you envision your day best. Ask about this in your contract. Act about cancellation policies. Ask about what happens with deposits. The more you know the better off you will be!
9. Try to avoid making guests travel or need rooms. That means earlier weddings and fewer late night events and fewer getaway destinations.
10. *Remember vendors are part of your head count! So the photographer, venue rep, caterers, waiters, etc. - all part of the head count (for gathering requirements). That means your guest list likely to be in the low 40s.
11. Picture your color palette in other seasons. Know that if you move from Spring to fall you love your colors but will add a darker tone or metallic. Always have alternate palettes worked out so you can transition anything you buy.
12. Spend slowly until you are sure the wedding is happening as planned.
13. Vendors will want to keep any money you give them. Be aware of that as you make payments. You may not get your wedding or that money back. Pace your payments.
14. To reschedule, it's cheapest if you make one of their dates work for you - that's when they are more likely to move your deposits. Anything else counts as a cancellation.
15. It's good to stay in contact with expensive venues and build a relationship with them. You might need a favor from them one day and burning bridges won't help. Remember, this is a business relationship.
16. Be flexible - with everything. I know we all want things just the way we want them. But the best laid plans go awry. Expect to make changes. Again, a shorter engagement helps avoid a lot of changes.
17. Have a plan B and plan C in cases changes need to be made. This fits with color scheme and theme B and C. Then you will be able to transition more easily if things do go wrong.
18. Get email addresses when you send save the dates or collect addresses - it is the cheapest way to send out quick updates and changes. Also online services let you send save the dates and invitations digitally in a crunch. Gathering emails is a pain when you need to act quickly. If you are missing some emails, try LinkedIn. For the elderly etc. Send the email and add their name in the message to a relative of theirs or call them directly. When I want to tell my uncle something, I contact my cousin. Use those connections. Phone chains can work. Use the moms, aunties, grandmas... They will get the word out.
19. Don't engrave dates on things. Just go with your name, a phrase, or something significant to you as a couple instead. Imagine a cake server with initials and the phrase "Life is Sweet" or something like that.
20. There is nothing wrong with eloping. It will not make your "big wedding" any less sweet. Having those that you adore welcome you to married life will always be sweet and nothing can take that away. And elopements are their own kind of special. And as brides why not embrace two kinds of special. Also wear what you want - the poofy dress or a simple outfit that's comfortable. Weddings are about your unique selves - let them shine.
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I hope that others continue to add to this list because it seems that there are things that we should share about how to navigate this stuff for those who are worried and just getting started or getting started again.
My original wedding: about 100 people, in a state I don't live in, with everyone traveling. I've had 4 official dates (April 4, May 5th, June 27th, August 7, and now June 2021.). I now have a surprise elopement planned.
My elopement: location 30 minutes from my house, guest list of 5 + 3 vendor reps, informal dinner (maybe at a restaurant/maybe at home - depends on safety), the dress, tuxes, chapel, flowers, photographer, cake at home - happening in the next 4 months. Vow renewal and reception - I've secured vendors and have decided to wait until 4 months out to do anything else.
