Too many parties ??!?!?

Engagement party: A party to celebrate the fact you became engaged. Typically, both you and your FI are there. And it's not typically a gift-giving occasion, although some people may bring a "hostess" type gift (e.g., a bottle of wine).

Bridal shower/wedding shower: Traditionally, a shower was for just the bride, and the guest list included only women close to her who were also guests at the wedding. The purpose is to shower the honoree with presents, and the major entertainment is opening presents. More recently, some couples have "couples showers" for both the bride and groom.

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You can have both an engagement party and a shower. However, a) these are given only by others, not by you, so you need to wait and see if someone offers to give one or both, b) only people invited to the wedding should be invited to any prewedding parties, except that a work shower can include coworkers who are not invited to the wedding, and c) you should avoid having the same people invited to more than one shower. So you could, for example, have three showers if one was held in the groom's home town and was for his side of the family, one was held in your home town and was for your side of the family, and one was held where you now live and was for coworkers and local friends. However, you should not have the same person invited to all three showers.

Ok thanks, super helpful! So we're having a small destination wedding and won't be inviting too many people past out large families and close friends . What would you suggest in that case? My mom and MOH are planning an engagement party, but not sure who should be invited? My fiancé and I would want to celebrate with those that won't be attending wedding too 

I would suggest having an engagement party with just the people invited to the wedding. Then when you get back from the DW have a "reception" or a party for all the people you want to celebrate with, but can't invite to the wedding. That way people who come to the pre-wedding parties don't expect an invite to the actual wedding and then get upset when it never comes.

I'm having 2 wedding showers and then of course a bachlorette party, that's all.

You don't have more than one shower unless different groups are attending different showers, and let your bm's know that they do not need to bring gifts to more than one.

Here was our kind of breakdown...it's important to note, we did not ask for ANY of these parties...people either surprised us or asked to do them.

We got engaged...May 2012

Engagement Party (Fiance's family hosted) July 2012

Surprise Couple's Shower (His family hosted) December 2012

Bridal Shower (My family/friends/bridesmaids hosting) May 2013

Lingerie Shower/Bachelorette Party (My Maid of Honor hosting) June 2013

Bachelor Party: July 2013 (we think)

Rehearsal Dinner July 4, 2013

Wedding July 5, 2013

Man, what a year!

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You have such cool friends!

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So you can't host your own engagement party? Its typically thrown by someone else?

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Any time a party is thrown to celebrate you, it should be hosted by someone else. You can have a party, but I wouldn’t call it an engagement party.

View Quoted Comment Only invite those who are invited to the wedding ceremony.



You can always celebrate with anyone you wish after the wedding is over. The wedding is not the only party you will host as a married couple. Don’t call it a reception but you will likely have people visit you in your home and you can celebrate with those small groups as they visit. Down the road on a milestone anniversary (5, 10, 25, 50 years) you can host an anniversary party for those who didn’t attend the wedding.