Too many kids

I’m not having kids there, has nothing to do with money but Theyre really young and I can’t have them running around while we’re trying to have an adult party in the dark on a mountain

Just let it be known no children. You can't have some and not allow others. If they really want to come, they will figure it out. Now on the other point is your mom helping to pay? If so than maybe talk about it. Also did you talk to these people about why no children were to come and what were there reactions?

Fiance and I are paying for the wedding. My parents and his parents are contributing in other generous ways (helping make centerpieces/decorations, picking up alcohol here and there, etc) but in general we are funding the wedding ourselves. We haven't brought up the topic with anyone yet; however, I do believe that they would be understanding in realizing that we aren't opposed to kids, its just that 18 is just a whole lot of kids and we can't pick and choose. A few cousins (3) live out of town/state and their SO's don't have relatives to watch the kids (meaning they'd have to hire a sitter or not come). In these instances, the "no kids" rule feels blurry.

I have a toddler and I'm not allowing children haha. our daughter will be the only child there.
I have been a very laid back bride, but I will not have a screaming child ruin my ceremony haha. Like I said, I have one, therefore I know how they can act. Children aren't worth the price point per guest.
Most of our friends and family are excited to have a date night out.

View Quoted Comment We are in the same boat. The only kid at my wedding will be mine and after a certain time he’s going home with his granny! I knew That meant some people couldn’t or wouldn’t come but that wasn’t my problem. I know That sounds rude but it how I feel. I want to enjoy nice adult party!

Don't listen to your mom. If you want an adults-only wedding, that's your choice. There's always going to be people who get pissed off that they can't bring their kids to a wedding, but that's their problem not yours. If they can't live one night without their kids then they don't need to come to your wedding.

You can break the age not necessarily at over 18 adult, under 18 kids, but in stead decide those in Jr. High or High School and up, who behave and socialize with adults for 4 hours at a time with little or no individual supervision, if there are perhaps some teens you want to include, adult behavior. And still not allow younger children in the same family. Every social institution of our society does this. Schools, sports, Boy Scouts/ Girl Souts type organizations all have several levels, movie ratings, theatre, concerts amusement parks, even courtrooms do do allow people to bring along all ages. So people who say if you allow a 16 year old, you must allow their 3 year old brother, are talking foolishness. When the 16 gets dropped off at the school dance, do you see 3, 5, and 8 year olds with their high school age sisters and brothers? Of course not. Set restrictions where you want, you are the hosts. Just try not to day of kids in the same family, a year apart, one can come, one can't, unless you are drawing a line that all can understand, the middle school child no, the high schooler, yes. We had 160 adult guests, including WP. We allowed 13 babies not at the wedding nut in a separate crib and nursing room. But the 157 others, age 3-15, who came with parents to our wedding location, only fame to the family and friends barbecue the next day. The whole character of our wedding would have been different with 170 under the age of 15. And the only people who asked for exceptions, wanted an adopted non English speaking toddler, and a couple years older child, also no English and no siblings, to stay in our nursing area with a sitter. Asleep by 8 pm, but waking every hour or two to lol out and see, parents still there. And 2 sitters spoke their languages there, not in motel. But beyond this, no parents said anything but, nice to have an elegant party for adults.

Adults only weddings aren't uncommon, I'd just go that route. We are inviting around 30 kids under 18, but realistically expect around 12 (most being under 3). I'm just calling the parents after we get their "yes" RSVP and telling them it won't a kid-friendly environment past 8 PM (wedding is from 5 PM - 11 PM) because it's an open bar with a lot of young single men that drink a lot. So they know the kids can come and will be fed & invited but hopefully they are good parents and know it's not safe for them to be running around a venue with drunk adults.

We did no kids. Not for money but because I didn't want to be tripping over kids on the dance floor and wanted to just have a nice, fun, adult party where everyone could let loose.

Of course this may be an inconvenience to some but your wedding isn't about being convenient for other people. We had a couple complaints about it but overwhelmingly positive feedback. A few couples even told me how excited they were for my wedding to have a fun night to themselves!

Don't let people pressure you into doing things for your day that you really don't want because you will end up regretting it.

Try to explain your position to your mom. If it is really that big of a deal that it will continue to cause problems then maybe instead of paying for the kids she can pay for a babysitter for them.

The bride whose wedding I was in last month went round and round with this, because she ( unlike me) would not speak up against her relatives, 4 families where Mothers or Mothers and Fathers with children loudly got into argument, with the support of FMIL, at the shower. 3 months before the wedding was FMIL female family shower, a couple of husbands in the yard with FFIL, drove wives over then withdrew to putting green and beer. I could not believe someone got rude with the bride over hors d'oeuvres and drinks time. The whole inconvenience to all patents, who should probably call their families and tell them all to boycott the wedding. And FMIL going on loudly to bride, see, what you have done? Ruined the whole wedding for my daughters and some of my son's oldest friends. (groom). The argument for only one mom was that she was too good a mother to ever leave her five year old with babysitters, never left her darling with anyone but grandma, who would be at the wedding. Though kid was over a friend/ neighbor's home for a birthday party all 3 hours of the shower. And goes to first grade this year, last was Kinder. The others with 2 or 3 toddlers to 7-8 yr olds, it was all about why the parents should have to pay $15 an hour, going rate, for 5 hours of babysitting. Not one of these families poor, making at least 60K and up I would guess, certainly driving cars over 30K each and new. I finally spoke up, no yelling, I think people stopped because my voice quiet, to hear, not out of respect, certainly. And said, I am a mother of 5. And I am responsible for their care, me and hubby. And I would never be so arrogant as to think a bride and groom should pay $85 for each of my younger 3 and $140 for older 2 with adult meals, $495 total, so as not to cause us the inconvenience of paying $75 for a babysitter for our own kids. We decided to have kids, everyone at the shower drove under 15 minutes to the FMIL house, in same town as the Hyatt hotel venue. So these people are not paying sitters for hours of overnight travel time. Suddenly, FMIL starts yelling, at her daughters! Switching sides. You want my son and his girl to pay a hundred dollars for every one of your kinds, that's over 20 . On and on. How could she or anyone else not get it before? It is a huge cost at a fancy formal wedding, on a summer weekend evening. And B & G have no obligation to prevent guests from being inconvenienced by arranging their own child care. These folks are all spoiled and privileged, I really came to wonder how the very nice groom could come from such an aggressive and arrogant family , that they would scream at a bride at her shower ( catered, with uniformed serving staff) . And think one day care worker just out of the Army 6 months, and a school librarian ( groom) should be paying for older established relatives' and friends' children. In the end, no kids at the wedding. But bride told me groom was hurt, none of his sisters or 2 first cousins gave any wedding gifts. Pointedly telling him at a later family cookout, that his girl had inconvenienced them too much to have warm feelings for her. Nobody has to give a gift. But to point out you are not giving one to get back at bride for making them find childcare. Sometimes people's values make me ill. Whatever reason a couple does not want young children, wants a strictly adult group, or the cost, why do so many people feel aggressively entitled to take their kids anywhere they want? At others expense? My husband and I were only one of 2 couples at the wedding who traveled more than 25 minutes, the others the bride's grandparents whom we picked up in the next town and drove 4 hours to the wedding where bride, groom, and their parents came from.

View Quoted Comment What she said

This is a wedding, not Romper Room. If it's THAT important to have a bunch of young kids around, your mom can pay for on (if it's available), or off-site babysitting. That's BS. Our venue won't allow kids under 10 to attend the reception, and I am actually glad because I don't need screaming crying children running around all night! No thanks. It's YOUR day. Put your foot down.

You are not wrong to feel the way you feel about this. Everyone gets to choose the kind of wedding they want. I had the same situation as you - lots of cousins with lots of kids. Our weddings are always family affairs and quite a few were coming from out of town so I knew i would for sure invite them all. I had 28 kids attend (between the ages of 1 - 12) out of 183 guests. For me, it didn't seem like too many kids and I loved seeing all the fun the three generations were having together. That being said, you need to do what YOU and your FH think is best and not worry about your Mom :-) Good Luck!

This is such a sore subject as so many people feel their children are entitled to an invitation everywhere. Myself...I am anti children running all over my reception. It is an adult event for us and frankly, I feel that if you don't want to come to my wedding because your toddlers are not invited, then you do not need to be there. My brothers wedding video is nothing but one of our cousins 14 month old screaming her head off. The mom and dad wouldn't get up and take her out because they didn't want to miss the ceremony...but they ruined the ceremony. I am very anti small children at formal weddings. If you do not want children there, stick to your guns. It is your wedding NOT a family reunion as so many people seem to think.