Too late to cancel?

Its not too late if its causing you that many problems, but I would just check your contracts and make sure you won't have to pay the full balances if you cancel too close.

Should I be taking my guests travel plans into consideration? Does anyone have experience like this?

Do what's best for you. If you do cancel I would do so ASAP and let guests know ASAP to give them as much time as possible to cancel possible travel and hotel arrangements.

I would keep in min that if you have guests who are flying usually tickets are non-refundable and by now I most people have their tickets booked. If there’s no other way to help your husband then yes cancel the wedding and hopefully it will help him.

I’d consider the folks who are traveling and the contracts. If there’s lots of people flying etc maybe plan a smaller dinner party for those and nearest/dearest.
can fh go into the dr to get some meds/counseling?

Instead of canceling. Why not cancel the ceremony party do the reception but take out any element that will cause him to be the center of attention. No cake cutting or dance. Maybe you could go up by yourself and do a thank you speech. I would let your guest know.

View Quoted Comment That’s a good idea, Colleen.

Obviously you should do what is best for yours and your husbands health, but I think it might be kind of short notice now. If you’re gonna cancel I would do it ASAP for the out of town travelers!

You need to check with your venue most likely you are out the money. Most people have probably already booked their rooms so I would tell them today so they can try to get their money back on rooms

Real talk, if you cancel this late in the game and say “actually we’ve already been married a couple months” this will harm A LOT of your family relationships. I’m very pro- take care of your husband’s mental health BUT this move will do damage. Like....if you cancel , you kinda can’t ever tell anyone you were already married. I’d be very upset personally if I had to cancel plane tickets and then found out you were already married anyway— this would make me feel used and deceived, whereas if you weren’t married and just canceled due to depression, I’d be sympathetic. So , this is a matter where you have to tread very carefully. And I’d worry that if there’s a major anxiety issue, this may not help.

My best advice would be to super focus on getting your husband the help he needs ASAP, and trying to adjust your plans to make a it a simple, low pressure situation that he can handle. Hotels typically aren’t paid in advance and can be canceled a certain amount of time before an event without penalty, but airlines are not so forgiving, so honestly if you have a lot of guests flying in, they may not opt to cancel their trips. If you could figure out something like Colleen suggested— shifting the plan, skipping out of the ceremony and high pressure stuff and just having a low key party (where you also are not losing all your money), could be a good solution.
But make sure he gets some help ASAP! That IS the most important thing. Relationships can be repaired if need be.

It's up to you. Have guests made travel plans they can't cancel? Taken PTO? Have you put down deposits to vendors and owe them more?

View Quoted Comment

I think this is a great idea!!! Canceling the spotlight portion but still having a celebratory part afterwards!