Toasts and Speeches

I think it's totally fine to skip the speeches, especially if you don't want them! If his mom really wanted to do a speech, maybe she could do one at the rehearsal dinner instead of the reception?

I think that's fine to skip speeches. i've been to weddings where they only said a little thank you and then skipped speeches

You can skip speeches if you want to. There is no requirement that you include them, just make sure you let your bridal party and families know ahead of time so they don't prepare something only to be disappointed that they can't share it. I know dealing with family (especially in-laws) is hard. I hope it gets better for you.



For us, we decided ahead of time who was able to give a speech and only asked those people if they wanted to or not. Of 5 people we asked, 4 said they wanted do one and two of them had already started to prepare something. We gave the option to give a speech to my parents, my FH parents (who declined), my MoH, my husband's BM, and our officiant.

In our families and social circles, no one does any toasts, including not having a thank you from the couple. No one finds it weird or improper hosting. We personally don’t care for toasts at all so we will not be having any and our families and friends have actually thanked us. Plus many of them are introverted so they would be like deer in the headlights.

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Thanks Lisa! I honestly don't think she even wants to give a speech herself, she just wants us to follow her expectations lol.

We did not have any toasts or speeches our wedding. My husband doesn’t like talking in front of people so I basically got up and thanked everyone for coming and to the people who helped us specifically. Granted we had a very small wedding (35 people) but I don’t really think that matters! Do what you feel is right.

My fiance is planning on toasting our guests. The bridal party is full of quiet and shy folks so not sure who would like to give a toast.

We didn't have toasts/speeches either - no on missed them.

Part of the reason we decided to forego them was we had been to a wedding reception that became a free-for-all (I think they ended up with an *hour* in speeches), which was a LOT.

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I think that is what we all fear. However, it would seem nice if some key people were on the whitelist to give a toast or speech. A bit of that is to know or anticipate whether someone will just share a bit of sentiment, joy and best wishes or whether they will just share horrible things. It just seems there should some opportunity to share their hearts ... and sort of give back to you at that time. But the DJ can be ready to play the next dance song at any moment. lol.

If you know it would all be bad, avoid the speeches except maybe thanking people for celebrating with you.

We are going to let some speeches take place but for anyone doing a long or over the top and dragging on speech I will get 1 of our ppls to cut it. But yes you both make the rules on that.

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Our best man is VERY shy and doesn't want to do a speech, and I'm afraid my maid of honor will say things she probably shouldn't lol. We talked it over and decided that my fiancé will give a thank you speech from us and we'll be asking my dad if he'd like to give a toast. He's a good public speaker and knows how to keep it light and funny while also being respectful.

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Our best man is quiet so we knew he wouldn't want to say anything and my maid of honor is the opposite and doesn't have a filter. She usually brings up something she shouldn't, and will double down on things when she should just leave them be lol

Not at all weird. Our only speech was us thanking everyone for coming. No one missed speeches, in fact a lot of people commented in how lovely it was NOT to have to sit through a bunch of boring toasts!

I guess actually in the planning stages, I should mention — we talked with our best man and Moh first. Best man was very disinterested in giving a speech which we were cool with. I didn’t want to just not *let* my moh do one if it was something she had planned for or looked forward to , so I let her know he wasn’t doing one, and she could have the option either way, but we were absolutely fine without. She was my bff from childhood and we’d had plenty of those “oh I’m putting this in your wedding toast!” experiences/conversations so I didn’t want to just tell her no , haha. But when I gave her the option, she seemed truly relieved — she opted out and was very happy not to do a speech.

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We assumed that the best man wouldn't want to give a speech, and he was very relieved when we told him he didn't have to do one. My moh is a newer friend for me, but she actually went to daycare with my fiancé when he was a toddler and she has a couple of stories from that time that his mom HATES and my moh loves to bring up any chance she gets. That combined with the fact that she's not the greatest when it comes to gauging what's okay or not to say in situations makes me just want to tell her that we're not having speeches because otherwise I'll feel like I need to check her entire speech.

We decided on asking my dad if he'd like to give a toast and then us just thanking everyone and leaving it at that.