To write our vows or not to write our vows

Talk to your wedding officiant. They should be able to offer some guidance. I offer this simple template:

1. Talk about how you felt when you first met.

2. Talk about what your love has grown to become.

3. State your vow to be their spouse.

One or two lines about each and you're done. Or take it from the fine folks at Hallmark. Best wishes!

http://ideas.hallmark.com/articles/wedding-ideas/how-to-write-wedding-vows/

We did our own and I'm so happy we did! DH nailed his. Like they were amazing. We ordered vow books off Etsy and read them to each other when the time came. A lot better than trying to memorize or just have them on a piece of notebook paper. As far as the length, I love personalized vows. I don't mind going to a wedding and hearing long vows. Mine were about 10-12 lines. DH's were double that. To each his own.

My FH also feels nervous about this and asked if we could share our personal vows together, not in front of a crowd, so we have picked the suggested template for the ceremony and we have scheduled 10 minutes right after the ceremony (while the photographer is setting up) to walk away from it all to share our promises to one another. The officiant is going to announce our wishes to the group.

We're writing our own vows but keeping them short and not mushy. Nobody wants to hear that and I don't want us to be crying. We're going to write letters to each other for the morning of. That's where we will really get mushy and emotional. I want my letter to make him cry

We wrote our own and I'm so happy we did! We did them separately and had different styles. He went with a narrative style and I went with an "I promise...." I personally didn't feel the need to talk about our history in my vows, and I'm glad I didn't since H touched on it a little. I think I looked to this blog alternative bride or something like that. I was really nervous because I am not a word smith in the least, and writing them in the format I did was really helpful and made me feel more comfortable.

You also want to consider whether or not you want everyone to hear them. We were going to share them with everyone, if I made everyone travel to Jersey I was going to let them hear our vows. Last minute H told our officiants we won't be using a mic, and I'm happy we didn't and I was worried people would be upset but no one was! Just something to think about.

I agree with @CharleneR. If your FH is too nervous schedule some time to be alone after the initial ceremony to talk things over. It will also give you some time to decompress before the reception.

Do it!! I didn't want to write it for the same reason your FH has but my H really wanted to write our own. I'm SOO glad we did. It remains one of my top memories.

We wrote our own and it was great! He's normally the jokester and I'm more serious, but his were so serious and mine were funny. We surprised everyone, including each other. We read them to each other during the first look photos, so we were able to cry, laugh, stop in the middle, etc without anyone else watching. I bought vow books from BHLDN.

@Charlene- we are doing something similar. We have been together for 8 years and are very expressive every day with each other about how much we love each other. I have public speaking anxiety so we are keeping the traditional vows and writing each other a sweet letter that we will read privately before the ceremony.

Eight lines..

4 about why you love them

4 about what you promise to do to make it keep happening.

Keep it short, keep it light, keep in mind that by the time you get to the vows, everyone knows it's almost over. Don't ramble, don't tell embarrassing stories, don't make them so emotional that you can't say them in front of 100 guests.

http://pinterest.com/celiamilton

FH wanted to write our own vows. I'm pretty shy and didnt want to read my own vows. I got FH to agree that we write a letter to each other, and read it the morning of the wedding. Both of us have already written them. My mom will deliver the letter and him and my son's surprised gifts for me. Not sure who he will have bring my letter.

We are doing our own and I definitely shared Celia's guide with FH. It helps! I also purchased vow books from Etsy so we could write them down and read them rather than memorize them. I am excited that we will have them as keepsakes later and the ones I bought have multiple pages so we can screw up (handwriting) or try printing them on a computer...we might also add other pages to make them more like albums. I have most of the tickets and things from our dates so I am toying with the idea of including some of them in each book as a surprise for FH. Here is the booklet I bought (I got it very fast despite the overseas shipping).

Etsy store: https://www.etsy.com/shop/Eclipse3Design?ref=l2-shopheader-name

FH wants to and I like the idea of it, but I am kind of a shy person and get really nervous speaking in front of a large group of people. I was thinking of doing the write a letter to each thing. We're still undecided.

FH wants to, so I will. I love being center of attention -- actor! -- but I HATE to write. But I'll be doing it for him. (Probably on 10/13/17, the day before the wedding. Because deadlines work wonders.)

We didn't want to say personal things in front of everyone so we are doing traditional vows. However, we are writing each other a letter to read before we walk down the aisle. It's the best of both worlds for us.

FH requested that we write our own, he already had his done. I am not sure when I'll write mine or if I'll freeze and forget then and have to wing it.

Allow yourself plenty of time to write them. Don't try to memorize them -- read them instead.

We wrote our own and we are very happy we did. It made it more personal IMO. I went to a wedding a few weeks after mine and they didn't write their own. It just felt generic. Sorry, just my thoughts!

We are writing our vows, but since we also like traditional ones, we are ending our personal vows with some lines from the traditional vows, plus a line from Game of Thrones. It seemed like an easy way to compromise and get the best of both worlds.

Instead of writing our own vows, we are just going to write letters to each other and share on our own time. This way we can keep the ceremony short and sweet and leave the personal stuff to us. Plus, I know I'd break into tears listening to FH read his vows to me.