To the Brides in Interracial/cultural Unions...quick Question

Sorry, I don't have any advice to give on the blending of cultures, but as for religion, how much have you talked with your partner about raising the kids in a particular faith? Will you be participating with the rest of the family in activities like going to church? It's fine either way but if it becomes obvious to your kids that you're not a practicing Catholic, you'll both need to be prepared to answer their questions when they start asking why mom doesn't go to church.

I think it really depends on you as a couple. I def think it’s great to talk about since there could be different expectations or traditions you’d like to have your children grow up with.


My mom is Greek and dad is American. We were raised catholic and went to CCD but also went to Greek school & Greek church (we’d alternate between them ever so often).
I don’t remember my dad going to the Greek church but I don’t know if anyone really asked. My mom would attend the catholic masses, but wouldn’t receive communion (also don’t remember anyone saying anything). If people do talk or say anything that’s also okay. We’d also go to the festivals, celebrate both Easters, and attend other activities which was always a fun time.
I think my parents got more questions from me than others because I was curious why my classmates didn’t go to the extra classes/mass but now I’m happy I did. (Also a fellow New Yorker!)

View Quoted Comment Not too much, but he desires to raise our kids catholic and im not opposed to it. I would go to church with them, just wouldn’t participate in communion.

I’m Hispanic & come from a big family. He’s white & is an only child so his side is small. He’s shy & quiet until you get to know him. I’m loud & outgoing. When we 1st got together it was interesting. Blending our family wasn’t difficult. The most interesting thing was him getting used to my cooking. Neither one of us are very religious & we’re not going to have children together.
The previous person has a very valid point- how will you explain your religious beliefs?

I don’t have children but I plan on to in the future. I’m bilingual (English and Chinese) and my fiancé is not, but we agreed our future children will be at least bilingual when they learn to speak. In fact, I’d like for them to be trilingual after they are in school (preferably Spanish).
My parents speak Chinese and my fiancé agrees that it’s important for the children to communicate with them, especially if they’re going to help babysit. It’s also a part of their heritage and identity. My fiancé knows that he won’t be able to speak it but he doesn’t need to although he can try to learn it. I’ll probably get him to learn some words the same time the children are learning some so they learn together.
English will probably remain the dominant language since it’s used in school and with friends. And not speaking the other language will cause them to forget so there should be effort to speak it at home more. I know this from experience because my parents speak Chinese only and it’s my first language but English has become my main language now.

View Quoted Comment That’s amazing wow! Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your perspective.


Sending hugs from BK! 💫

I have biracial children and me and my fiancé come from two different cultures. His family is Jewish and catholic and mine are Christian. However he doesn’t believe in any of those but he allowed me to take the lead on that. We also celebrate Christian holidays but I told him that when the kids get older we’ll let them decide on what religion to practice and culture to embrace as his family celebrated both. We plan to teach them about both so one doesn’t reign superior.

I suggest that you learn Spanish. Language and communication are an integral part of understanding each other. You will feel more included in family functions and be able to understand your children better as they develop their language skills.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. It's very important to learn the language of your life partner

It’s something that you should discuss with your partner about, usually it flows as long as you too are on the same page. What do y’all do now despite each other religious differences and cultures? Maybe what y’all are doing now will work as far as having children one day. If y’all already doing a good job with balancing it, it should flow really well with the children!

View Quoted Comment I agree with this lol, we’ve gotten this far we should be okay in the future. It’ll just require more talking. We haven’t done much talking about the major topics because we’ve never had a reason too. But now that we’re engaged it’s more apparent we should. Thank you for this!

View Quoted Comment You are welcome! Congratulations on the engagement!! ❤️❤️

View Quoted Comment

You're so welcome!

"Tips on raising future bilingual kids when one of the parents aren’t bilingual (me)?"

I've known several bilingual couples who decided to each speak their own native language to the kids, from birth. Kids are sponges at a young age and can pick up multiple languages so fast. They also learn intuitively to speak language A with parent A and language B with parent B. It's really cool. I don't think it matters if one parent only speaks one language.

I can't help with the religion thing. As for the cultural thing, I think you will have to make a concerted effort to talk about both cultures at home and plan things to do relating to both. Not that it always has to be 50/50, but with a good balance so that both cultures feel normal and a part of family life. In New York, that should be easy! Also you will naturally begin to create new family traditions and twists on existing ones.

View Quoted Comment My fiancé is Jewish and I’m Christian as well. My fiancé wants our family to be embrace Christianity, which I want too. However, I want our children to celebrate Jewish holidays and traditions. I am insisting that our kids will celebrate at least Hanukkah and Christmas.

View Quoted Comment That’s my sentiments as well. This was supposed to be our first year doing so but with Covid we have decided to wait until next year.

I just wanted to say I think you are being very mature and you're going to be a GREAT parent for trying to think ahead about these issues. You've got a great head and heart and that will always put you in a strong position to overcome any obstacles you may face in the future.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much, this was so sweet 💗

I think it depends on you as a couple. Discuss things like how you will raise your children as far as religion and how you want to teach both cultures. My fiancé and I are interracial/mixed culture. He’s Hawaiian and Samoan. I’m black and Native American. We share the same values but there were some differences that we decided on early on.

View Quoted Comment Something that may avoid some bad feeling over time may be to be careful what you label things, with regard to his family. You say his are part Catholic, but you are Christian. It makes it sound like you do not think Catholics are Christian. Which they are.
Perhaps to say they are Jewish and Catholic if you want to point out the difference that you are Protestant. But if you label yourself Christian, well they are too. I know some people in my family, and separately in hubby's find it offensive when someone will say, well you are Lutheran, and I am Christian. Or, You are Catholic, I am Christian.
Lutherans, Catholics, and Greek Orthodox or Russian Orthodox are Christian also, and should not be excluded. Over time it can be very irritating. And the kids should learn the proper way to refer the the sameness or difference of your religions that are all in the family.