To tell or not to tell

Has he led her to believe that she's going to be his best woman? And has she directly said that she is going to be? If you're just assuming that's what she thinks, I probably wouldn't mention it until she does. If she says something about being best woman, he should tell her, not just let her continue to believe it.

View Quoted Comment He hasn’t said that she is but she’s said that she is. She assumes she is because they’re blood

It's not really polite to out of the blue tell someone they weren't chosen. But I definitely think the next time she brings it up (assuming she will), he should be honest with her. He's not doing himself any favors by postponing this potentially difficult conversation.

That said, I think you should let him handle his sister, and any fallout, on his own.

I fully agree with the previous poster because it is not fair to her that she continues to think that. And I also agree that that should not be you to handle it rather him because that is his family. Yes she's going to be hurt and feel some type of way but I think closer to the wedding when she realizes she's not in it and he never said anything is going to be much worse. If it does come up again he does need to have a conversation with her about this.

Not your circus, not your monkeys. This is on FH. I agree he should talk to her but if he doesnt want to, the repercussions are his to deal with.

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I agree. It's really up to your FH to come clean

I'm in a similar situation. After I told my cousin that my FH and I had picked a date (we weren't officially/publicly engaged yet), she immediately asked me if she was a bridesmaid. As we were in the very beginning stages of planning, I told her honestly that I hadn't thought that far ahead. Personally, I think it is rude to ask someone if you are in their wedding party. I have now decided who my MOH and bridesmaids are, and I decided against asking her. I have not told her yet, and I honestly do not plan on telling her unless she asks again. I think it'll be awkward to just bring it up out of the blue.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, and the thing is, originally we weren’t even going to HAVE MOH and BM! But then he goes ahead and asks his bff to be best man. I get that it makes planning things easier but ugh. And back in the beginning of planning April asked me about it and I honestly told her that idk if we’re doing that but if we are, my MOH will be my bff (my sister and I have a rough relationship, I even turn her remarks into a drinking game at the holidays) and April (fh’s sis) responded with “well if you do, I’m going to be Best woman right? And I just responded “that’s up to him” and honestly, the main reason she wasn’t picked is she’s a great person but she’s just terrible at planning things, keeping track of things, and has severe social anxiety and was in and out of work for a while there. There’s just too much responsibility of being BM that she wouldn’t have handled well

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I agree. While it may make things more awkward the longer he waits, his side of the bridal party is his responsibility!