To Look Or Not to Look????

My fiancé really wants to see me walk down the aisle first. I wanted to do it only for logistics but my photographer said there will be plenty of time for pictures. I think it’s so sweet to wait.

Same here- my FH doesn't want to see me until I walk down the aisle. I'm going to do a first look with my dad though before the ceremony.

View Quoted Comment

LOVE the first look with the Dad idea--- that is a definite must!

Really its a matter of preference, more-so of would you like that time together alone or would you rather the surprise be during the ceremony.

I'll give this explanation, though take it with a grain of salt as I'm going from memory and really cutting it down for simplicity sake, as far as one reason for "seeing the bride is bad luck" goes. I am more than likely also missing key points

"Bad luck from seeing the bride beforehand" comes from back in the days when marriage was more for political gains. A man of power would strike a deal with another, the first would marry the second's daughter in exchange for something. If the first man saw the daughter before, and decided he didn't like her appearance, he'd refuse the marriage, leaving the second man with a child he still is responsible for, and a deal unmade. This was also one of many explanations for the veil, if the groom couldn't see her face until he she was already at the alter, he was less likely to just take off and run, leaving her standing there. Along with all of that, say the bride to be was exceptionally beautiful, it helped to keep other men so inclined from knowing this and therefore trying to kidnap her and whisk her away to marry her themselves

View Quoted Comment

Thanks for the reply! You've opened my eyes a bit to see that this may be just an outdated, misunderstood thought.

View Quoted Comment

Sure thing!! I'm glad to have given you the insight, however, don't take it as why you should or shouldn't do one or the other. If you want the first look, do it. If you don't, and want the first time your FH sees you to be when you walk down the isle, do that. More or less, just use that info to help the two of you not feel pressured to do one or the other, rather, do what will make your special day the perfect day for you and FH. And if you choose to not do a first look, but he still sees you on accident, don't let it ruin your whole day thinking "bad luck" is coming for you

I'm Jewish and the groom pretty much always sees the bride before the ceremony as you have to sign the ketubah (marriage license) before the service. Does that mean all Jewish people have a higher chance of divorce?
(Obviously I'm not saying you think that, just pointing out how ridiculous a superstition can be.)

View Quoted Comment

Hi LB - I really appreciate your input! I didn't know that about Jewish weddings, and you are absolutely right, it does point out that superstitions can be ridiculous. I definitely didn't take any offense to your post!

I'm not seeing my FH from the day before the wedding until the ceremony. I just want the anticipation build up. No other reasons - no omens or voodoo etc. I just think it will be fun to torture him a little. He agrees lol.

I don’t want him to see me in my dress before I walk down the aisle. I feel that is important to me to keep one tradition in my wedding. I want to see his face light up the first time I walking down the aisle.

We did a first look because it was better for our schedules logistically and it doesn't ruin your excitement seeing them again walk down the aisle later

We did a first look and I loved having that moment with just us (and the photographers). It didn't change anything about the ceremony. I cried like a baby the entire time lol. As far as superstitions go, Rachael summed it up perfectly. Do what you two feel is best. We broke all the rules though lol. We stayed together the night before. He saw me with my hair and makeup done before I got into the dress (although that wasn't really planned). The day was still absolutely magical.

My FH and I are not doing a first look. I understand the whole timing issue and wanting more pictures, but I really just want it to be traditional and wait for him to see me for the first time walking down the aisle.

I was honestly super against them until we decided to be really inconvenient and have a Tuesday wedding. It just made more sense to do a first look and take all the pictures beforehand. Since then, I've really warmed up to the idea, because then we get to enjoy more of the day together.

I'm not a fan, in fact I hate them. I would never tell another bride what to do though. I just can't and won't take that moment from him, where he sees me the first time that day walking up the aisle to him to become his wife. He hates the whole first look trend even more than me. He is so excited to see me coming up the aisle

I don't believe in bad omens and neither does FH. We have talked about a first look because I am a total cry baby and I hope that my nerves will calm down a bit by a first look. He also agrees (more now that I could not stop blubbering at my best friend's wedding because of the cuteness!). I am also not in to traditions and I find a first look to be endearing and intimate between just you and your partner.

I just got married in June and we waited until i was walking down the aisle. It is totally up to you but I can say that waiting made the moment feel so special. In my mind doing a first look was like spoiling the surprise. I had butterflies up until i started walking and then couldnt help but smile so much as i went down the isle, and my fiance was crying the entire time. At that point you just feel so many emotions at once that its really and indescribable feeling. And we had plenty of time for pictures afterwards.