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Caitlin
Beginner September 2022

To invite or not

Caitlin, on December 21, 2021 at 4:56 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 6
I’m having some difficulty in deciding to invite my Mom’s extended family to the wedding. For the past year my mom and one of her brothers have been feuding, this is not the first feud. It also directly involves my uncle’s wife, one of my cousins and her husband and my grandmother. They have not spoken to my mom or dad in a year. My uncle was in the wrong and told my sister he apologized first during the last feud and will not apologize first this time. They have not invited my parents to christmas, i got a “happy birthday” but not card, no calls or messages. They have invited my sister and I to christmas ans i feel like it is only to upset my mother. I do not think kindly of my Aunt, Uncle or cousin and her husband. My opinion of the situation is that they did something very wrong. I’m conflicted in whether i should invite them to my wedding or not. My mother says she doesn’t mind either way but i just feel like i don’t want to pay for someone to be there if u am unhappy with them. I do still want to invite my mom’s other brother, he lives across country and i only see him once every 5-10 years. My fiance is only inviting one aunt and a few cousins as well. What are your thoughts? I said to myself and my fiance that i would give it until christmas and they still haven’t resolved it from last February.

6 Comments

Latest activity by Caitlin, on December 21, 2021 at 5:21 PM
  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece Online ·
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    I would say to follow your heart and gut! From your statements, it sounds as though you feel these people are in the wrong and have attempted to use you as a weapon against your mother. You also said you rarely see them and that you “do not think kindly” of them. Personally, I would not choose to share such a special, intimate event with people I felt this way about. But only you know your family’s dynamics and whether you would regret inviting/not inviting these people.
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  • Heather
    Super November 2021
    Heather ·
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    I 100% agree with Cece. Just because they are family does not mean they are obligated to be invited especially with what happened in the past. And due to how you feel about them.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    A special occasion such as a wedding is not the place to invite anyone you are not close to. If parents or someone else pressures you, you can always arrange a family reunion picnic at another time for everyone to get together on their own dime, not yours.


    You can invite whomever you wish and not invite whomever you don’t want there. But it sounds like this group of relatives would stress you out by being invited and “obligation” is not a valid reason to invite someone. You are free to not invite them in this case.
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  • Caitlin
    Beginner September 2022
    Caitlin ·
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    Thank you for your advice!
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  • Caitlin
    Beginner September 2022
    Caitlin ·
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    Thank you! I’m leaning toward not inviting at this point, my wedding isn’t until september so there is still time to decide. I’m definitely a “people pleaser” and i’m working on trying to put me and my feelings first more and worry less about what everyone else thinks.
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  • Caitlin
    Beginner September 2022
    Caitlin ·
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    Thank you so much! I really appreciate your advice.
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