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Haley
Savvy October 2020

To invite or not to invite..

Haley, on August 22, 2020 at 5:01 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9
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I have a slightly awkward situation that I am unsure how to handle. My sister and cousin are my maids of honor and when planning my bachelorette party my cousins sister in laws sister (moh brothers wife’s sister) asked to come. I do really like her and she has always been so nice to me and my family but we don’t hang out a lot. Now my moh is close with her so they said yes but she was not on my guest list for the wedding so I feel strange having her come to the bachelorette party but not inviting her to the wedding. I am already so crazy over my guest count 1 more person does make a difference so I’m just unsure what to do.
I did express my concerns a little about her not being on my guest list with my sister but they still invited her to the bachelorette so I am not sure what’s to do at this point. Should I just invite her anyway? Her sister will be there and she knows our family well, I just feel backed into a corner.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Melle, on August 23, 2020 at 3:20 AM
  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    If you are already over your count then I don’t think you need to feel guilty for not inviting her. The fact that she asked to come to your bachelorette party and the hosts said yes really isn’t on you. You do need to make sure your MOH and bridesmaids understand the position that you are not able to invite this person to your wedding so if that comes up they need to be the ones to explain it to her.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    No because it's not like you invited her knowing that she wasn't coming to the wedding and she knows as well she's not coming to the wedding and still chooses to go. Maybe she just wants a night out to celebrate with you. If you want to I would maybe just have a conversation with her and just let her know that you are happy to have her there at The Bachelorette and that you know that technically according to etiquette people invited to any pre-wedding events should attend a wedding but that as of right now you can't afford an extra person and you hope that she understands and is okay with that but you're happy to have her there at The Bachelorette.
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  • J
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    It is ok to celebrate at a bachelorette party with those who may not be invited to the wedding. The rules of showers where all guests invited must be invited to the wedding don't don't always apply because it's not a gift-giving-centric party.
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  • A
    Dedicated September 2020
    Ashley ·
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    I personally think it's kind of odd that your moh came up with your guest list for the bachelorette in the first place and that someone asked to come without having been invited. Maybe that's just me 😳
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    If you are over your count then there is no need to feel guilty about not inviting her.
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  • Crystal
    Devoted October 2020
    Crystal ·
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    My understanding was bachelorette party was outside the rules because someone else is planning it. Same if your office coworkers threw you a bridal shower.
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  • Jessica
    Master September 2020
    Jessica ·
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    I’ve attended two bachelorette parties for friends that I wasn’t invited to the wedding, and especially with Covid making so many people cut their guests I don’t see any issue. It’s kind of strange that she asked to be invited, but if she honestly just wants to come to celebrate you and understands you can’t invite her to the wedding I think it’s fine.
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  • VIP August 2020
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    You didn't cause this, so there's no need to try to fit her into your guest list. Just make it clear to your cousin that she's not invited. Be sure to tell her that it isn't personal, you just have space/budget/covid constraints, so that she can relay the message to this person appropriately before the bachelorette party. While you're at the party, just be careful not to say how much fun you're going to have with her at the wedding. If you accidentally say something like that to the group, just follow it up with, "oh [SIL's NAME], I really wish you could be there, I'm sure [COUSIN] will show you pictures and we'll have to go out for drinks or something afterward!"
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I think it’s weird your MOH said yes to her coming I mean iono did she not know she wasn’t invited? But usually they would Or should ask who you want there other than the bridal party
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