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T
Savvy September 2017

To invite or not to invite...

Terra, on April 8, 2017 at 7:53 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15
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I have a "friend" who ive known since elementary school. We were very close for a while, but we've always had a competetive relationship. I got sick of it eventually (high school or so) and tried to drift away from her. We ended up reconnecting after college when we both moved home, and I gave it another shot. She made me a bridesmaid in her wedding. But it became obvious soon enough that she had very little respect for me. jabs, all the time! And it would bring out this competetive streak in me that is really unflattering. I stopped talking to her... but i got close with one of her other friends, who I am now inviting to my wedding. This frenemy heard I got engaged and apparently said "she BETTER make me a bridesmaid." Im not having a bridal party, but clearly she expects to be invited. Im worried her presence will make me feel insecure, competetive, and angry at my own wedding. My fiance, who is friendly with everyone, wants to invite her. What should I do?

15 Comments

Latest activity by FutureMrsW, on April 8, 2017 at 9:29 PM
  • CMC
    Master November 2016
    CMC ·
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    You're calling her a frenemy. I would not invite this person.

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  • Gracelyn
    Super October 2025
    Gracelyn ·
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    It doesn't sound like you are friends with this person and thus, you don't really have a reason to invite her.

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  • Chelsea
    Super June 2017
    Chelsea ·
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    Talk to your fiancé about how her presence would make you uncomfortable and find out if he truly wants her there or is being easygoing about it.

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  • MrsLabrec
    VIP October 2017
    MrsLabrec ·
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    I'd say no. Sounds like you'd have some drama and stress you don't need that

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  • Leah
    VIP July 2017
    Leah ·
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    The fact that you called her a frenemy should answer your question.

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  • BookcaseHat
    Master July 2017
    BookcaseHat ·
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    Don't invite her. You can't even call her a friend without putting it in quotes, this is not a person you need in your life or at your wedding.

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  • Mary C
    Super November 2018
    Mary C ·
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    If either you or your FH do not feel comfortable inviting someone, then the answer should be no. The only feelings anyone should be concerned with are your feelings and your FH. Good luck to you.

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  • Ashley
    VIP March 2018
    Ashley ·
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    Don't invite her.

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  • T
    Savvy September 2017
    Terra ·
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    Sounds unanimous... Thank you guys. It's so hard when you feel like you're obligated to invite somebody who you really don't want to.

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  • Deactivated
    Super April 2020
    Deactivated ·
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    It doesn't sound like you truly want her there. This is your day and you should be comfortable and feel beautiful and fabulous and every Other fantastic feeling in the world. If there is a possibility she could put a damper on your day (and it sounds like she could) I would not invite her. If she confronts you, just tell her the truth. You got this girl!

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  • S
    Just Said Yes August 2017
    Sarah ·
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    I think that is not what a friend should be saying to you it is your day and you should decide if she should be a bridesmaid or not

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  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
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    Hard no.

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  • N
    Master December 2016
    Nancy ·
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    Ask her to be a gigantic flower girl. This should do the trick.

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  • StealingtheKredel
    Super July 2017
    StealingtheKredel ·
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    I would say no

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  • FutureMrsW
    Devoted November 2018
    FutureMrsW ·
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    This is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life! You don't wanna be anxious and uncomfortable! You need to be surrounded by love and positivity. I say talk to your fiancé and discuss with him how you truly feel and I'm sure he will be understanding.

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