To invite or not to invite my dad's family

Also, I know that this has been discussed before on here but I just wanted some other opinions. I want him there but at the same time I don't because it is going to be mostly my mother's side of the family that is in attendance. And we already have another set of divorced parents to deal with. I don't want it to be awkward for my dad or my mom's family. All of whom I love dearly.

This is a question that only you can decide. You know your family best. Sorry I'm not a bigger help.

@Megan H. I didn't invite my father. We have not spoken in over 3 years. He has made my life and my sister's life full of hurt and pain and in order to live a happier life I had to cut him out of my life and that day started when he did not show up to my sister's wedding because he didn't approve of her marriage because she is a lesbian. He doesn't deserve to be a part of your life if you have put yourself out there and he hasn't responded. You deserve a father who can be there for you and wants to be a part of your life. Don't invite him if you do not want him there. This is your day and you should have what you and your future Husband want.

I would be afraid it would end any relationship you may have by not inviting him. But only you know best. And I wouldn't worry about if people will be uncomfortable about it cause it is your day and they should understand if you want him there

I think you should invite your father and his wife and your grandparents. Then the ball is in their court. Treat them as average guests, not a position of honor.

I wouldn't invite him but I may be biased. My relationship with my father is toxic and I've just recently begun to realize that I need to limit contact with him if I am going to be happy in the future. Being your father doesn't entitle him to special treatment. If he won't try to be there for you then I would stop putting yourself out there

I would say you shouldn't invite him. I'm in a similar situation and my did is not incited. He doesn't even know I'm engaged because that's how much he cares. My dad likes to talk to me a couple times a year and think that that's going to fix things. Even if my dad was to text me right now and be all fatherly, he still is not welcome. His new family that he left for, is not welcome.

So, I believe that he shouldn't be invited.

I am so torn. I haven't talked to his side of the family in AGES. Couple other things to consider all of my family is located in various other states than where the wedding is being held and my FH and I are paying for the wedding.

My dad has really been in and out of my life since he divorced my mom. Always takes credit when he is around.

I would invite the father his wife and daughters along with the grandparents you speak to but other than that I wouldn't extend it any further.

Caitlin...i don't talk to his wife's daughters. I've only met them twice in the 13 years.

How old are his wife's daughters? if they are out of the house, I wouldn't extend the invite. If they are still young, you may want to include them as a courtesy if you decide to invite your father (especially if other people will have their kids at the wedding).

Molly.... they are both grown and married.

You'll honestly be the only one who can answer this.

From the sounds of it, there isn't much relationship to salvage, and if there is it would be you doing the legwork. You have to decide if you want to keep fighting that fight, or if it matters to your enough to want to continue that battle.

From what you've posted, I would not extend and invite. But I'm also a third party and completely emotionally separate from the issue.

I would not invite Dad or any of his family. Then again, I'm biased because I'm not inviting my father or his family either. It's your wedding day and you want to be surrounded by people who mean the most to you, who you love and feel comfortable with. Don't feel guilty if you don't invite them, especially since it's sound like you've always tried to be the better person and cultivate that relationship.

I would definitely invite the grandparents!!!!! Don't punish them for what he's done. As far as you inviting your dad, that'll be a decision you have to make. It's a tough one because you'll never get this moment back.

I would say if there is any part of you that wants him there to invite him--In the end he may not come. FH was raised by and adopted by his step father and only sees his bio father when he goes to visit him while in Louisiana. His dad has never gone to visit him and doesn't really travel out of his little area. He didn't visit when FH's son was born and never went to visit them. We invited him to the wedding, but in the end he said he couldn't make it. I'm not sure if FH is disappointed or not because he has said all along he didn't think he would come but in my mind it still is disappointing. I would say if you want him there invite him, and invite the grandparents if you are close with them. As for his other family and his wife's kids, I don't think you need to invite them if you aren't close. I was worried about the seating arrangements with his dad but in the end it isn't something that will matter obviously.

I would invite your grandparents on your dad's side for sure. As for your dad and his new wife, send them an invite and let them decide to attend or not. This way you don't risk to end all your relationship with him by not inviting him. As for others on your dad's side and stepsisters, it is up to you if you have the budget to invite them or not, since you don't really have a relationship with them.

I'm in the same type of situation but I told my real dad I was not inviting his family only my grandparents from his side and he understood I don't have any type of relationship with them and they never tried even after he left us. And he's understanding. Hopefully they will understand but if not honestly it wouldn't bother me and my real dad is not upset.