To invite or not invite...

I would say if you don't invite her, you shouldn't invite her mom. That would cause even more hurt feelings. I see nothing wrong with not inviting her, especially if she hasn't really been in your life for 5 years. If she would be hurt and ask why, just tell her that venue or budget constraints had to keep the guest count low, but you could celebrate on your own with her after the wedding if she wishes.

You have three options:

1) Invite the friend, her fiance, and her mother in order to save grace. This prevents drama, but also adds to your budget.

2) Only invite the mom. This has the potential to cause drama, but you can explain that y'all unfortunately weren't able to invite everyone that you wanted to (due to budget, capacity, etc.).

3) Don't invite any of them, and just give the same explanation as option 2. This saves you the risk of hurting her feelings or causing drama, but also prevents you from being able to have the mom there that you really want to have there.

Either way you choose, there isn't really a wrong option. It's just something you and your FH will have to decide together. Good Luck!

I wouldn't invite someone that I no loner had a relationship with, but it's really your decision to make. You either want her there or not, it's as simple as that. I agree with PP that I would not invite her mother and not her. The mom probably wouldn't attend anyway to avoid conflict with her own daughter.

I wouldn't invite her (or her mom). I used to have a fairly large group of friends in high school (10-12) and we all did things together during breaks from college. However, we've been out of HS for 10 years now, and those dynamics have changed as people have moved away. I'm only inviting those who I stay in touch with regularly and/or would text me to hang out if they're in town. I'm only inviting 5 friends from that group.

I also looked at a lot of the guest list with this mindset: "Am I willing to pay $X / head for this person to attend my wedding?" That helped narrow things pretty quickly.

I think her mom will assume her daughter is invited. To me, it sounds like you unfortunately have to invite them all, since it is clear not inviting the mom isn't an option as you are close. I have a situation like this as well: We have a small wedding (60 people), not every aunt and uncle are invited, but my fiances grandparents have just moved out west to be near an aunt and uncle we never talk to. Due to their age, we know the grandparents are now assuming they will drive or fly up with that aunt and uncle. To not invite the aunt and uncle now becomes very pointed, rather than before when it was a bit more out of sight out of mind. Two people we never talk to realizing we got marry in a small ceremony, nbd. Two people who are now having their parents ask if they were invited, if they can drive them to the airport, watch their house, etc etc...not as great. So, these people I don't really know will be at my small, intimate, even-some-really-good-friends-couldn't-be-squeezed-in wedding. It's a bit of a bummer, but better than severing that relationship.

Of course! Good luck!