To invite or not invite??

I would. Especially because sometimes we reconnect to our old besties. It happened to me. Now we are close again, closer than before 😊

I moved from my home area for school, then work, then the army, then school. At my parents I lost track of people, unless they also went to Boston for college. Then we went elsewhere. I am so happy I called NJ from NH to talk after getting engaged, had not seen this old friend in person for 4 years. But I impulsively asked her, and our next to NYC to FI family, we stopped by, only an hour further. And she and new hubby and baby came up to mid NH the year after. And we both moved back to different nearby tiny towns close to our parents. 3 of our 4 kids are the same age, grade school as 3 of their 4. our husbands share hobbies and equipment. I now have my old hiking and skiing partner back, and I am happy I could not help but think of her, when I got engaged. We live 8 houses away. Old friends become new friends again.

I’d say invite. It’s just one person and maybe it will be the spark your friendship needs to be revived. Also not sending the invite would effectively put a mail in the coffin of it. So if you would like the opportunity to become close again I’d say send the invite.

If you can afford it, I would say invite her

As many people have said, invite her. Maybe it could revive an old friendship!

Invite her

If you have the room, send it, but if you would rather see someone else over them, then don’t! There are different times in our lives for things and people come and go, and that’s natural! Don’t feel obligated to invite anyone! If they don’t show up or can’t go and you can sleep soundly at night, then I wouldn’t send one to them. Invite someone who you’d actually be sad if they couldn’t go!

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Thank you for that perspective. And likewise - should she decline without reaching out as to why that explains it enough for me.

Thank you all for your perspective.

I would invite her

I mean... do you want her there? Lol don’t overthink it...

No one is ever obligated to invite anyone. You are getting married so you decide who you can't imagine the day without. If you don't spend time together outside of events because you feel you have to, then don't invite them. You mentioned yourself your relationship is not what it used to be so that means no invite.

Unless it's an issue of needing to limit your guest count, I'd say invite her.

If you can financially and there's space for her and her husband then invite her!!

I’m shocked by the amount of yeses here! It was a hard no for me. It’s okay to drift apart, sounds like you’re acquaintances now. That’s fine. Don’t need to bring her into one of the most intimate moments of your life just because she was involved in yours.

(Like I get the if you have the space and money idea but if the ONLY reason to invite was your involvement in her wedding, it’s a weak reason. Invite her if you WANT her there. To me it sounded like her presence at your wedding wouldn’t be particularly meaningful to you and your day)