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Dedicated July 2020

To include my sister or not? Stressfulllll.

Julia, on December 10, 2019 at 2:19 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 14

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Okay so I have 2 half sisters. I am not close to either of them. My older sister doesn’t even know if she will definitely make it to the wedding-so I’m not concerned about her in this regard.

But my younger sister is definitely coming to the weddding. She has outwardly said in the past years that she wants to be a bridesmaid. Fast forward 4 years later, and I am engaged. Last night she texted asking if I’m having a bridal party. I said I think so 🙊
At first it was a no brainer. She’s not in the wedding bc we aren’t close. Case closed. We loosely speak every so often. She’s VERY immature (in her mid 20’s). And to be honest I have very little to NO patience for her in general. She’s extremely stubborn, a know-it-all type.
Now I’m feeling bad. So my question is....is it messed up that I am not including her? I’ve toyed with the idea bc I know it would mean a lot. But idk. She lives states away. So if she were to be in it, it would literally just be to wear the dress and walk down the aisle. She would not be planning or attending any parties.
My MOH is my cousin. All other BM are best friends. And my niece (not her daughter—my older sisters daughter) is a junior BM.
Also thought of asking her to read a poem maybe. But ehhhh I don’t really want that. Just not sure what to do 😐☹️

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14 Comments

Latest activity by Catherine, on December 12, 2019 at 11:17 AM

Master May 2019
Cyndy · on December 10, 2019 at 2:22 PM
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It’s your day and you should be able to have who you want in your wedding party. Her feelings may be hurt but if you try to please everyone you likely will make yourself unhappy. This will be the first of many tough decisions to come so do what makes YOU happy. Good luck.
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Devoted December 2021
Katlyn · on December 10, 2019 at 2:22 PM
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You should not feel bad for not including her, especially if you guys aren't close or talk. There are other ways to include her in the party, such as doing a reading. I wouldn't bring up the bridesmaid stuff, I would just say how you would really love if she could be a reader at the ceremony. Especially of the BM's are all your besties and your MOH is your cousin, I don't think there is any problem at all giving her another duty besides bridal party.
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Master January 2015
null · on December 10, 2019 at 2:34 PM
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100% agree with this. Your wedding is about you and your FH, so don't stress yourself trying to do what everyone else wants you to do. If you're comfortable with it, asking her to do a reading would be great. But if that's not what you want, don't feel obligated to include her that way either
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Just Said Yes October 2021
Maddie · on December 10, 2019 at 2:38 PM
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All a BM is required to do is show up in the dress and walk down the isle. They are not required to throw any party if you will regret not having her then ask her to be part of it
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on December 10, 2019 at 2:43 PM
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Agree with this.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on December 10, 2019 at 2:44 PM
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Nobody is entitled to be a wedding party member, family or not. Choose whoever you're closest to!
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Master September 2019
Sherry · on December 10, 2019 at 3:06 PM
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I have 2 sisters. I didn't include either of them in my BP. I instead had my cousin be my MOH because I am closer to her.
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Expert August 2020
Angel · on December 10, 2019 at 3:27 PM
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Definitely don't choose someone to be a bridesmaid that you don't feel close with/easily irritated by - and you shouldn't feel bad about it either!
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Master October 2019
Meghan · on December 10, 2019 at 3:28 PM
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Family members don't get automatic roles in weddings. Bridal party members should be your closest friends. If you do not want her as a bridesmaid, you don't have to have her as one. It may hurt her feelings for a little bit, but she will get over it. If you plan your wedding around everyone else's feelings, you won't get anything you actually want.
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Dedicated July 2020
Julia · on December 10, 2019 at 4:39 PM
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Yeah you guys are all right! I don't really want her to read something at the ceremony. I don't really want anyone to read anything at the ceremony except me and my FH and the officiant lol Okay, I feel better about not including her. Do you think it would be appropriate to ask her to wear a special color? Or is that not really cool since she won't be walking out or anything?
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Just Said Yes October 2021
Maddie · on December 11, 2019 at 11:05 AM
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Why would you have her in a certain color?
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Dedicated July 2020
Julia · on December 11, 2019 at 12:55 PM
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So she feels special idkkkk
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Super November 2021
Alejandra · on December 12, 2019 at 8:34 AM
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I wouldn’t bother. I have two sisters I’m not very close to. They live in a different country but aren’t invited to my wedding and I wasn’t invited to theirs. It’s totally fine. I think your sister just wants to be a BM as opposed to *your* BM.
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VIP November 2019
Catherine · on December 12, 2019 at 11:17 AM
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This is your day. i feel a bridal party is who you are close to in life. who has been there for you always and will always be there for you. don't feel guilty for not picking someone - we can't please everyone all the time. if you want to include her then do so, but don't do it so she doesn't get upset. do it because you WANT her to be there.
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