To have or not to have a flower girl and ring bearer?

If there aren't children you can't imagine the day without I would skip it. Kids aren't props for photos or for people to gawk at. It doesn't sound like you are close with these children and so it could be awkward or even make them nervous. I would skip it unless they are children in your family or immediate circle you are close to.

We're having a FG and RB but they are my little cousins who's father I am very close to and are in my wedding party. We see them all the time and are close to the entire family. The kids are comfortable just being with FH and I which helps.

We're skipping both. In my opinion it's just another handful of things to worry about, and take care of. Unless you truly want to include someone and can't imagine your day without them, I'd pass.

Kids aren't props. If you're not close to them, don't put them in the wedding party.

We have a ring bearer, but lately i'm on the fence with a Flower girl. I was going to ask one of my close friends to be MOH, and her daughter be FH, but that friendship has changed drastically. My other close friend, whom i'm asking to be MOH has a little girl and she'll be 2 by the time the wedding comes. I worry she's too little, i'm going to talk to my best friend and her her thoughts. She's not a prop, and i'd never treat her as such. I want to discuss with my friend, get her thoughts, then make a decision.

If no FG, then our Ring Bearer will be the only child there, and i worry he may get bored, but he'll be surrounded by family and friends.

If you're not close to them, don't ask. You don't need a FG or RB.

We skipped it. The only kids in our family, that would fit the role, would end up basically making what we wanted to be a "kid free wedding," into all the kids invited. Plus there are three young girls on H's side, his third cousins, who we are really close too, and their mothers would have lost it if I picked one over the other. And then his 1st cousin, who we are less close too, would have been even more upset then she already was about her kids not being allowed. A flower girl and ring bearer weren't something I "needed" so to avoid all other stress, I just skipped it.

The wedding I am in at the end of the month does not have either. It is a NYE Wedding and is basically a party into the new year. Her ceremony isn't even until 815.

Pass on this, sounds like your mom wants photo props and I doubt in a few years you even have a relationship with these kids. I'm a pass on almost all kids in wedding parties and think they are just as cute at a wedding and photogenic without being forced into a role they don't understand.

We're skipping both.

Thanks everybody, sounds like I should just go with my original plan of no FG/RBs since you all made such good points!

I'd stick to your guns and say no.

Ya I agree. If you don’t know them, just skip. Our flower girl was my cousin and best friends son and our flower girl was H’s best friend from college’s daughter. We took a buuuuunch of pictures with them and I would have felt awkward posing with random children and picking them up and playing with them (flower girl did not want to leave her toys). They also stayed for the whole ceremony but were quite popular within our friend group and family circles just because everyone knew them. I think random children might be awkward. Good choice OP!

We are only having a ring bearer..FHs family on his dad's side is very close and his cousin has 3 small boys. We really wanted those three at the wedding so will have the youngest one be the ring bearer. My family has too many young children that we didn't want to ask anyone for fear of upsetting one of my cousins and keeping it all fair. Neither of us have any nieces or nephews. I agreed with other posters that it should be kids you are especially close to. Edit to add- the three boys will be the only kids at the wedding. The parents will most likely being someone to watch them later on in the reception because they probably won't stay the whole time.

Had so much fun with kids dancing at the wedding, they were running all over but I didn't pay attention and it was at a barn! We got a tire for ring bearer at old navy and ordered his bow tie and suspenders off amazon super cheap entire outfit 30! Flower girls were dresses they already had from prior event that we tea stained to match the attire of wedding party and look!

I would skip it based on the information you gave.

We opted out of the FG and RB. We don't have any kids we are close to on either side of the family and when I suggested my youngest cousins as RBs in front of one of my grandmothers and she got bent out of shape that I didn't consider my other cousin. The little cousins are 3 and 6, the cousin she was getting mad about is about to be 12. So we decided to skip it to avoid drama on my side of the family.

You do what you think is best!

We are skipping it along with having a huge wedding party!

Personally, I can't imagine putting a child in the wedding who may not even be comfortable enough around your family to have to stand in front of people they don't know. At a wedding I was at recently, the bride's daughter and niece were flower girls, the niece is about 2, and she threw a hissy fit and wanted to walk back and forth between different family members because that is the only people that she knew, and she didn't know better. Then the daughter who is 5, and knew virtually everyone invited to the wedding, cried when they all walked in as a family at the beginning of the reception because, let's face it, she's 5. Basically, just do a pro and con list. Will they be cute in photos, sure. Will they be comfortable around your whole wedding party and guests to behave themselves and not add any stresses to your day?

I am also on the fence about having a Jr. Bridesmaid and a Flower Girl. I have a big bridal party of my sisters. My jr is my niece (12 when we marry)who I am very close with as well as the flower girl(4 when we marry). I won’t lie I want full attention on my groom and I. I feel like the FG,Rb&Jr will all cause a distraction and caos. Now also, my FG mother is also one of my bridesmaids. The 3 of us have a special bond. Now do to her a single mother, someone’s going to have to always be on back up baby duty during photos. I don’t want my girl having to go through that but also try to be there for us.
As a maid of honor of my mother she had a FG and RB. They were Our cousins both 4 years old, two different family members. They wouldn’t cooperate with the photographer, they wouldn’t stay dressed. My mom wanted special pictures she never got. She says it ruined her day when she missed out on them. It was just a mad house. Also we don’t want children at our wedding at all. Especially the ceremony. So a few times I have taken my bridal party’s little ones. I want them there for sentimental. In your case, leave them out. They don’t have a connection to you, it’s money not worth it. She can put that money towards your dress/tux/decor... whatever. Not on wasted plates and stuff for guest you don’t have a bond with... my bridal party is 10/8 if I leave out the FG and Junior.