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Maureen
Devoted November 2021

To have or have not a bridal party

Maureen, on March 9, 2020 at 2:18 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 10

I'm torn.

I'm not one to want an entourage of clones. I feel like 6 is a lot of girls standing up there (3 friends, 1 sister, 2 SILs), but then maybe I do want that?


Should I just keep it to my sister? I have asked my sister and 3 friends so far and have left my SILs out. 3/4 have their dresses already.


If I keep it to just my sister, then two of them will have to return their dresses and get a full refund. They are very chill girls, so I don't think they would be butt-hurt if I pulled back on my decision to just have my sister as my MOH.


THIS IS HARD.

10 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on March 12, 2020 at 7:19 PM
  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan ·
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    I'm confused. You asked them and they're far enough in the bridesmaid process that they physically have their dresses, but now you don't want a bridal party?

    What happened?

    Side note, bridesmaids don't have to be (and, frankly, shouldn't be) an entourage of clones.

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  • Maureen
    Devoted November 2021
    Maureen ·
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    Ah, yes it did come off a little harsh saying entourage of clones - I really do love these ladies with or without dresses on! And my sister has had her dress for weeks now which is fine. Two of them ordered theirs two days ago so they haven't come in yet. Nothing really happened at all. I'm just indecisive person apparently, it's just a matter of bridal or no bridal party?


    We're getting married in October 2020

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I’m also very confused. You already asked them and they already bought their dresses so now you have bridesmaids. Just let it be. I’m not sure what makes them “an entourage of clones” they’re just your nearest and dearest standing next to you
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  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
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    If you've already asked them and especially if they've already purchased dresses, I wouldn't ask them not to be bridesmaids anymore. I know you say they're chill, but that sounds like a sure fire way to hurt someone's feelings. Your sister can still be your MOH and your friends can be the bridesmaids. If you don't want any more than those four, just don't ask your FSILs to be in the bridal party.

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    At this point I’d just have them in the party
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  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
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    You have already asked people. It is done. It would be rude to un-ask them. This is also a very negative view of bridesmaid. My bridesmaids are my people! They are who I want with me on one of the biggest days of my life.

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  • Maureen
    Devoted November 2021
    Maureen ·
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    I don't mean it to come off negative, but I do see where your coming from that it sounds that way. I guess I have just been trying to keep my engagement very close with less people involved, I don't know...maybe I'm having a crappy Monday too. You know the saying, the grass sounds greener on the other side? Maybe I was just thinking "what if there was nobody up there standing", after it was too late.

    At least I know the guy is right! Smiley laugh

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Since you have already asked them to be in your wedding and they have already bought their dresses then I would say it is too late at this point not to have a bridal party. I think it would be really crummy of you to kick these girls out of wedding day. Also, depending on where they got the dresses returning them might not be a option or as easy as you might think. I would also say that the girls likely took the time to try on these dresses or take measurements prior to ordering their dresses and they can't get that time back. My feelings are you already made the choice when you asked them to be bridesmaids now you need to stick to it.
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  • Angela
    Savvy October 2020
    Angela ·
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    Just leave it as your sister and the ones who already bought their dresses and think of it this way, at least you have a sister and friends to ask.

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Keep those you have, and don't ask more (SIL). Just because you have a wedding party does not mean that things need to be much different. TV and movies make it look like one continuous stream of team wedding stuff. For most it is not. You need only see everyone once or twice up til the wedding if you want, and mostly get ready on your own or with one other person. This whole celebrity-like entourage is not common in real life. And most wedding parties don't have drama worthy of Jerry Springer. It is too far out from your wedding for them to have anything they need to do. If some volunteer to help, just one at a time can do things with you at a time. More like a real life friendship, having non-wedding type contact with friends and family, mostly. And an occasional gathering . Relax, don't anticipate problems.
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