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VIP October 2019

To follow up or not?

Jessica, on August 28, 2019 at 12:01 PM Posted in Planning 0 13

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Hi all
Our RSVP deadline is today and we have a handful of people we haven't heard from which was expected.

Two couples I haven't heard from are friends from college. We stayed in touch over social media but hadn't seen eachother in a long time. We were really close back in the day (one was my "little sister" in our sorority in college etc. ), so I thought I would at least invite them. Neither one has responded to the wedding invitation. Normally I would check in, but they also never bothered to RSVP for my wedding shower.

Now to me, it sort of speaks volumes. Obviously they didn't care enough to RSVP for either event.. Do I just let it go? I almost feel like by messaging them about it it's like I'm begging them to come.. And maybe I should take their silence as an answer?

Really conflicted about this.. So thought I'd ask for advice.

Thanks

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13 Comments

Latest activity by Christine, on August 28, 2019 at 3:27 PM

Master January 2015
null · on August 28, 2019 at 12:04 PM
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I would reach out with a phone call just asking for a yes or no, no hard feelings. If they refuse to respond to you within a week or so, just put them down as no. And if they come to you afterwards with their "yes", say sorry Charlie too late!
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on August 28, 2019 at 12:07 PM
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I agree with Amber. It never hurts to follow up!
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Expert September 2019
Jordan · on August 28, 2019 at 12:14 PM
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My deadline is in 1 week and I still have about 40 outstanding. It's so frustrating but I definitely plan to follow up with at least a majority of the guests who have not responded. My wedding planner has someone who will man the door and check that everyone who comes is on the guest list so if they try to show up without an RSVP, they will simply be turned away.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on August 28, 2019 at 12:18 PM
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You should always follow up after the RSVP date. Sometimes people forget. However, sometimes the invite or the RSVP could get lost in the mail. Just a quick phone call saying "hey, I just wanted to confirm if you're able to make it." is all you need.
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VIP October 2019
Jessica · on August 28, 2019 at 12:19 PM
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I guess the only reason I'm feeling like I shouldn't is because they didn't bother to RSVP (or show) to the shower.. But maybe I should 🤷‍♀️ To be honest at this point, I feel like I extended the olive branch and the ball is in their court, but maybe I should just message to see for sure. I hate the uncertainty and the wondering when someone doesn't RSVP.
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VIP October 2019
Jessica · on August 28, 2019 at 12:19 PM
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Thanks ladies!
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Super October 2019
Sara · on August 28, 2019 at 12:37 PM
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Yep - I'd reach out again and ask if they're coming and give them a deadline to let them know you by, and if you don't hear anything by then that you'll assume they're not coming.
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Savvy September 2019
Liz · on August 28, 2019 at 12:57 PM
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I had a similar problem and gave them a call. Turns out I had sent everything to their old address so they'd never received the invites. Never hurts to reach out!
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 28, 2019 at 1:08 PM
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I'd give it a couple days see if they RSVP late and then follow up for sure
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Master January 2021
AshleyR · on August 28, 2019 at 2:10 PM
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Did you follow up with them when they didn’t respond to the shower RSVP? I’m wondering if something happened to cause them to never receive the invites, like an address change or incorrect address. This is one of the reasons why you should always follow up with anyone who doesn’t RSVP.
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Super July 2019
MD · on August 28, 2019 at 2:47 PM
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I'd still reach out to them. I understand what you're saying about it feels like you're begging them to come, but some people just really suck at RSVPing. So it never hurts to ask!
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on August 28, 2019 at 3:06 PM
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I think counting them as a no is fine, but reaching out also seems good to be sure.
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Expert September 2020
Christine · on August 28, 2019 at 3:27 PM
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I'd reach out just in case their RSVP got lost in the mail or something like that. I'd send them a message saying something along the lines of, "Hi X, hope all is well! Our RSVP deadline for our wedding was Wednesday and we never received your response. Let me know if you're able to come by Friday - otherwise we'll put you down as a no."
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