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VIP September 2020

To elope with a vow renewal next year or reimagine our wedding

Jessica, on May 25, 2020 at 11:44 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 5
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Mostly, I think I just need to talk my way through all this (and an outside perspective might help, too). I feel like I've put everything wedding-related on hold the last 2 1/2 months with this idea that in June we would be able to make a more informed decision, and well June is nearly here and everything is still pretty up in the air. I keep going back and forth in my head about the best choice, and I think I'm driving my FH a little crazy with it now (especially since he's an essential worker and already stressed enough).

Our plan was for a fun weekend in Breckenridge: arriving Friday and getting everything set up, getting married Saturday morning, taking the kids (and adults) to Epic Discovery for roller coasters and chair lift rides, joining the merriment at Oktoberfest, going on a short hike, getting old fashion photos with the bridal party, and leaving Sunday afternoon. We rented a huge vacation home for us, the bridal party, and close mutual friends who have kids and are willing to watch our kids for us Saturday evening so we can enjoy some alone time.

Our guest list is around 50, so I'm less concerned about not being able to actually have the ceremony and reception, and more concerned about the wedding weekend celebration not being what we planned or imagined. We've had a few changes with the venue because of availability and our ideal location closing for renovations, but we settled on the golf course, so spreading people out will be no issue. My main concern is that I can't even imagine a street festival that draws several thousand people being able to be held in 3 1/2 months. I'm also concerned about whether Epic Discovery will even be open this summer/fall season. I'm not even sure what dining out is going to look like in 3 1/2 months, or if there will be a second wave like my healthcare friends keep talking about. I wouldn't mind a quiet weekend if it was just adults, but I worry about how we will keep the kids busy and entertained without any of the fun things we usually take them to do when we go up to Breck.

Almost all of our guests are local, we have a couple coming from WA, TX, and UT and one BP member out of the country. My FH hasn't spoken to his BM since late February when he was getting ready to buy a plane ticket from South Korea where he is living. I asked him if his BM not being able to make it this year would affect his decision about whether to continue as planned or elope and do the vow renewal thing next year, but I haven't really gotten a straight answer. I think he's just sick of me going back and forth.

I think the only way we will lose money is if we cancel entirely. Our venue and caterer will give us a full refund or change dates as long as they are available, our photographer will change dates as long as he is available but we'd still have him take pictures of the elopement for family and friends, the vacation rental agreement says we can change dates as long as the property is available (potentially we could change to any of the properties they own) but I have not reached out about a refund in light of covid-19.

So, my dilemma is whether we get married just us this year and have the party we originally imagined next year along with a vow renewal, or continue as planned and accept that we will not know until potentially much closer to the wedding what the weekend is going to look like and if we can even host all the guests we invited. I can't help thinking that there is no point in having the wedding in Breckenridge and spending all that money if it's not the wedding we imagined. It's just really hard not knowing what is going to happen, and I know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

I think I may be driving myself crazy going around in circles and I appreciate any outside perspectives on things I may not have considered.


  • Jana
    Rockstar June 2023
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    I don't think you can go wrong either way. Make a list of the pros and cons of each and go from there.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Champion March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    Honestly, I’d be very concerned about all the large events you’re banking on for October. Would a small wedding or elopement work for this year and then your amazing plan for a vow renewal next year?
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Rockstar August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    I agree. It is highly unlikely big events will be a thing until next year.

    It's probably best to postpone all that for a vow renewal.

    • Reply
  • Liz
    Beginner October 2020
    Liz ·
    • Flag

    If you feel like you aren't gonna get the wedding weekend of your dreams I would just move it. I stressed and got on my FH nerves with the back and forth lol. I finally just moved a vow renewal and party to next October!

    • Reply
  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
    • Flag

    Hi Jessica! This is tough and I understand how it must be driving you crazy! I had definitely been hoping there would be more clarity for September couples now, but the local situations and guidelines are still changing so quickly it's still difficult to plan with confidence.

    It sounds like this might come down to the kids activities for you! If big local activities like the Oktoberfest festival and going to Epic Discovery being closed is a deal-breaker for you, then it may be safer to reschedule than hope they reopen on time for you. On the other hand, with your big vacation rental you should be able to organize some fun children's activities for just your wedding crew!

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