To elope, or not to elope?

We did not opt to elope because of the family and that is the only reason we did not do it. I am using the wedding as a family reunion - it will probably be the last time everyone is together before elders start passing away. I would regret it if I did not have a wedding. FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, we saved up for it for 2 years, and we are not spending any more than $5k on the whole shabang.

Do what makes you happy. My sister basically eloped and regrets it 8 years later. Maybe just do something with immediate family and close friends only as a compromise. It can be done for less than 8-10k, you just have to make it a more casual affair.

What if you did an elopement but only invited immediate family? This way they would not be hurt. You could have a small party when you got back to celebrate with friends and extended family. Weddings are just expensive and the cost just seems to rise no matter how much you try and stay in budget.

I think you're all right. It doesn't have to break the bank; we just need to cut back. We're now thinking of a more intimate ceremony followed by a family dinner. I may not get my "first dance" spotlight or a garter toss, but we'd be able to afford a place of our own, a new car and necessities.

I have a friend getting married in Yosemite in July. It's just immediate family and a few friends. Her's is gonna be less than 5K I think...

TheFutureMrsPatmore - that's where FH and I are honeymooning! (: We wanted to go that route but it is just too expensive for his parents to make it up there and too expensive for us to foot the bill on, and they can't afford to go up themselves (whereas I have family close by so my family would lodge for free).

Travel expenses can limit people. We are inviting 110 and expecting no more than 90. Ours in in Sebastopol (wine country just west of Santa Rosa) and everyone is traveling except 4 I think. We might only have like 75 for all I know!

If we decide to have an intimate ceremony in the nearby mountains, most of our family and friends should be able to come, as it is only 45 minutes - 1 hour away. We're hoping for a good turnout of people who matter most!

I always try to finish one thing before I start another.

Graduate college and see where finances are.

I would never elope because the hurt it would cause our families.

We're college students paying for it all too, and we are definitely feeling the guilt. However, I'm the youngest of the family, and none of my siblings had a real wedding, so my family is really looking forward to me doing it right. 100 days left, it's too late to look back now anyway. I probably wouldn't be against eloping had he suggested it 100+ days ago...

If you don't have the money but envision a beautiful wedding, wait it out. I know thats not necessarily what you WANT to do, but it may be your best choice. If you're going to regret eloping in the future, or be sad becuase you can't celebrate wth family and friends, push your date back a bit farther. That'll give you ample time to save and ultimately figure things out.

@Danielle- You statements about your siblings "not having a real wedding" and that you are "doing it right" are pretty offensive. There is no wrong way to have a wedding, and if the marriage license is signed, it is a real wedding.

Her statement wasn't offensive. It was an opinion that her and her family share about her siblings' weddings. Let it go.

@Michelle--Sorry, I've been up a while and am a little tired haha, let me rephrase. My parents were only invited to half of my siblings' weddings, and the other were shotgun weddings, so what I mean is they want it to be done "traditionally." Of course when I say "do it right," I mean according to their standards, not my own.

There are a lot of options between eloping and having a big wedding.

Good luck.

@FutureMrsPatmore - yay Sebastopol! That's where my family is from and where my parents lived when I was born (in the hospital in Santa Rosa though). Where are you from? Where are you getting married (venue)?

SupermanBride - thanks but no thanks. We'd sooner be married in city hall and call it a wash. College has been a slow coming thing for me and I am perfectly capable of getting married prior to graduation, especially as my FH and I have been together eight years. I am not 21 and we already live together. Graduation is a good two or three years away and we intend to move prior to then and I'd like to include family while we still live close to them.

Thank you to everyone who responded; FH & I are considering doing a small intimate ceremony with close family and friends and a vow renewal five to ten years down the line if we still feel at that point that we want to do something bigger. Common sense tells me to focus on more than burlap runners and high end catering. I think I'd rather have savings for a down payment on a home at this point. :p

We would have eloped or done a destination wedding but we wanted family and friends with us. We ended up with the traditional wedding with family & friends coming from all over. It would have definitely saved us some money but the memories are what I loved about it

After so much planning, eloping was looking better and better!!