Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Dedicated September 2019

To be or not to be... a bridesmaid

Sarah, on January 20, 2020 at 1:08 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 7

Saved

Flag
Hide content

So I just got married in September and now one of my bridesmaids is planning a wedding of her own... for May/ June 2021. It’s going to be a destination wedding in Riviera Maya, Mexico. Although no formal plans have been made, she’s said that she wants me to be a bridesmaid and I will most likely be her only one.

My big issue is that my husband and I are planning a big vacation this November (of 2020), and will most likely be TTC sometime after. My husband had already said that he doesn’t want to hold off starting our family for somebody else’s wedding. I mentioned to my friend that we might be trying and she said it wasn’t a problem and I could still go, but I know I wouldn’t leave the country if I was pregnant. I also know that previously Zika was a big issue and women were told not to go to Mexico if they would be TTC within 6 months. I’m not sure if that is still an issue?
I would appreciate any advice on what to do or with anybody that is more familiar with Mexico. I know it’s a while away and I might not even get pregnant before the wedding, but I would hate to pay thousands for a trip to Mexico knowing that we might be actively trying. But I also don’t want to upset my friend.

Flag
Hide content

7 Comments

Latest activity by Taylor, on January 21, 2020 at 8:55 AM

Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 20, 2020 at 1:16 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would say you still make an attempt but she knows your trying and may potentially back out if pregnant. I do not think Zika is still an issue. I would not base decisions on what ifs and I do not mean to sound rude but you may get pregnant right away or it may take a bit longer. I would agree and plan to go and let her know if you safely cannot travel due to pregnancy then you will need to cancel.
- Reply
Super March 2020
Jennifer · on January 20, 2020 at 1:21 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would probably agree to be a bridesmaid. I would also have a discussion about in what ways you play a role. Tell her that you will help as much as you can but conception can be difficult and may need to back off with too much wedding help. Also, if you do conceive, there is always the possibility of not being able to fly or even being put on bed rest. Let her know that these things are entirely possible and that you will try to be there as much as possible.
- Reply
Master November 2019
Mrs. S · on January 20, 2020 at 1:27 PM
Flag

Hide content
This is a question to ask your doctor, you’ll get a clear response and then you can really decide
- Reply
Champion October 2018
Kelly · on January 20, 2020 at 1:30 PM
Flag

Hide content
It’s definitely up to you and I would also speak with your doctor about it. Currently Mexico is at the same level of Zika risk as the US and France. But everyone is different with what they are comfortable with.
- Reply
Legend July 2019
MrsD · on January 20, 2020 at 1:58 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would first off, wait until she asks you to be a bridesmaid formally & she actually makes the plans to have her wedding in Mexico. She may postpone or change her date or pick another location. Once you start trying in November of this year, discuss with your doctor what they think the best move is regarding traveling to Mexico. I think Zika has highs & lows for when it's become a big issue for pregnant women, and specific areas are worse than others. I believe currently, Mexico isn't somewhere doctors are advising against for Zika. Once she asks you, I would tell her your concerns but say you are more than willing to help with bachelorette, bridal shower, wedding planning, etc. and you will plan on attending financially but if you end up being pregnant & your doctor advises against traveling to mexico, you won't be able to attend. I don't see anything wrong with that. It's a lot of "ifs", but I agree, you shouldn't postpone trying to conceive for a wedding. I'm sure your friend will understand.
- Reply
Dedicated January 2021
Brittany · on January 20, 2020 at 9:27 PM
Flag

Hide content
I'd say plan on going if this is such a close friend. Book refundable tickets and get travel insurance if she does lock down Mexico so you won't be put in a financial bind if something comes up.
- Reply

VIP October 2020
Taylor · on January 21, 2020 at 8:55 AM
Flag

Hide content
To me, if you're still close with her, I'd make every possible effort to be there. She just stood beside you on your day and I think it's nice to return that favor. If you're pregnant at that point in time, of course do what's best for you but telling her no right off the bat for those reasons doesn't make sense. If you just don't want to be a bridesmaid, maybe just say that?
- Reply