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Geoff
Just Said Yes September 2023

To be or not be invited

Geoff, on April 2, 2023 at 10:16 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 3
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So my son is getting married. His mother and I are divorced and remarried, for close to 25 years. My now wife has been in my son's life since he was about 6. Me and the ex don't talk and last time we did 9 years ago we barely tolerated each other.


There is a bridal shower coming up hosted by the maid of honor. Both the ex and my now wife are going. Few weeks after that my ex is having a bridal shower for my son's fiancé and my now wife was not invited. She is upset because she wants to be invited and thinks she should have been. She loves our son very much and loves the fiancé too.
My question is what is the right answer etiquette wise? Should the ex have invited my wife, or is my ex in the right?

3 Comments

Latest activity by CM, on April 3, 2023 at 2:11 AM
  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    No, there is no reason for your ex (who you have a contentious relationship with, and your current wife has no relationship with) to have invited your wife. She has been invited to a shower hosted by a neutral third party. She should go to that shower, be cordial, grateful and have a good time (and leave the petty drama at home).
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    Your ex is in the right. She has absolutely no reason to invite your wife. She gets to decide who to invite. I think most people in your wife's shoes would have found it weird to get an invite from the ex. Also, I don't understand why your wife would want to have to attend 2 gift giving events. These showers are supposed to avoid overlap of guest lists so you're not imposing. They're also often thrown for separate circles if there is more than one.
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  • C
    CM ·
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    What PPs said. It would not have even been appropriate to invite your wife to two different showers. The two guests lists aren't supposed to overlap since that would be considered gift grabby.

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