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Summer
Super August 2018

Tips/conversation Starters for "table Rounds"

Summer, on June 19, 2018 at 9:03 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 33

This is the part I'm dreading most since I have social anxiety - I was thinking that we would skip rounds because of this so I didn't have to go through a potentially traumatic experience at my own wedding (ok, I know that's a little dramatic but hopefully you take my meaning the right way). FH told me he thought this was still rude and ultimately I agree with him - I want to thank everyone for coming, but the prospect of trying to strike up conversations with 200 people, many of whom I don't know that well, and a good number of whom I should recognize (e.g. my parent's friends, his extended family if I've met them once or twice) but I'm scared that I'll forget who half of them are and feel like a jerk. Does anyone have experience dealing with this, or just have some tips or ways to easily make light conversation with these sorts of people? Thanks!

33 Comments

Latest activity by Casey, on June 19, 2018 at 5:45 PM
  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    Can he take the lead while you grin and bear it? If he does most of he talking and you just say ‘lovely to see you thanks for coming’ would that help? A script of sorts. Also have someone travel worth you to keep you on time your DOC or MOH.
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  • Jennifer
    Super August 2019
    Jennifer ·
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    When you are going to each table maybe you can have your FH join and let him start the convo and you just join it.

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  • Jillian
    Devoted August 2018
    Jillian ·
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    My DOC told me to skip this which I thought was weird, I don’t know if I’m going to. But to answer your question, honestly you’re only going to have time for “Hi! Thanks for coming! Bye!” And move on to the next person, so you’re not going to really have to start a conversation with them. I don’t even know half the people FH invited (his extended family, moms friends), so I wouldn’t even know what to say.

    Also, maybe talk to FH about it and ask him to take the lead on his guests, so you don’t have to worry so much about the people you don’t know as well, which is where my social anxiety comes in.
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  • Erin
    Devoted September 2017
    Erin ·
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    We had about 100 people at our wedding and we made it to about 3 tables. I think it’s a nice idea in theory, but it’s virtually impossible to say hello to everyone. Are you having a rehearsal or welcome dinner? This was helpful to me since I was able to speak to a lot people in a more casual atmosphere and then I didn’t feel pressure to see everyone the day of the wedding.

    Theres also the the option of doing a receiving line after your ceremony. Not sure if that would be more or less anxiety provoking, but that way people are coming to you and it’s sort of understood that it’s a relatively quick-moving line as opposed to you stopping at each table and chatting for god knows how long.
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  • emcknight1517
    Super April 2018
    emcknight1517 ·
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    I walked around with my DH to each table and just said "hello, thank you so much for coming". The guests tend to do the work from there. They'll say "congrats" and probably ask about the honeymoon and how you're feeling. I took the lead when the table was mostly my side and he took the lead when it was his side.

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  • Kaye
    VIP October 2018
    Kaye ·
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    Whenever I've been to weddings, I just wish the couple well and tell the bride how beautiful she is. There is very little "conversation" as I think most guests realize that the bride is so very busy.

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  • Happy Hedgie
    VIP September 2018
    Happy Hedgie ·
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    Often just smiling and looking the person in the eye while thanking them is enough to make them feel appreciated.

    Perhaps, like pps mentioned, have FH take the lead and begin the conversations. Before approaching a table do a quick mental check and think about your seating chart and what group is sitting there (assuming you are seating like people with like). That should help you place the people easier. For example are they FH's college buddies, your parents work colleagues, or your second cousins, this may help you better place who they are once you approach. If you are having a seated meal, consider breaking it up and doing a few tables at a time between each course so it is not so overwhelming all at once. Just relax and it will be fine, the people you will meet are just happy to see you and FH and aren't expecting to have a long in depth conversation with either of you.

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  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
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    I've never really had a full conversation with a couple who were making rounds anyhow. Usually they say thank you, I say congrats and tell the bride she looks beautiful or I loved the ceremony and they move on.

    Have our DOC go with you to each table, that way if its time to move to a new table, you have an excuse to walk away.

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  • Tpatb
    Master August 2019
    Tpatb ·
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    From the weddings I have been to the bride/groom doesn’t always make it to every table. The ones that didn’t thanked everyone for coming in their speech. I think I will take this approach honestly..I’m going to try my hardest to make it to every table tho.

    I’ve also went to a wedding last year where the couple stayed after the ceremony and went by shaking everyone’s hand/giving hugs. However, I have anxiety as well and this would make me extremely nervous lol I don’t want to gross people out with sweaty hands. But, you could always opt for hugs instead! Like PPs have said it’s honestly not even a conversation..most of those greetings will be a “hi” & “bye”, so you should be fine!
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  • Kristina
    Master August 2018
    Kristina ·
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    I'm planning on keeping things super brief! Just say something like "Hi, thank you so much for coming! How are you enjoying the evening so far?" And let the conversation flow from there.

    I'm not good with public speaking, but small groups are fine, especially since they usually are under the impression that you can't spend a lot of time with them, because you have a lot of other people to say hello to.

    Also have FH there to take the lead if you begin to get overwhelmed!

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  • Kristina
    Master August 2018
    Kristina ·
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    I'm also planning on making a quick "thank you for coming" speech in case I don't make it to every table. Right now, our guest list is 180 people. I know we'll probably get some No's, but still, that's a LOT of people to say hi to and talk to, and I do also want to be able to dance and enjoy the party I spent so much money and time on!

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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    I will say I’m a DOC and I just don’t see it done anymore. I ask couples about it and between the welcome dinners and attending cocktail hour this seems to get cut. We have 115 guests and will not be doing this as we are having 99% of them at the welcome reception the night before (all were invited) and we are going to cocktail hour.

    The day of our time time will be taken up by sitting down and enjoying a multi course tasting menu we have put together, sunset photos, and a private cake cutting.
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  • T
    Expert September 2018
    Tia_Fred ·
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    Usually the bride and groom go around to every table say thank you for coming and its nice to see u and then they usually say yw and u guys look amazing and thats pretty much it short and sweet
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  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
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    Your DOC said to skip table visits???? You need a new DOC who understands etiquette!

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  • Dominique
    Devoted June 2018
    Dominique ·
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    I only had roughly 69 guests at my wedding including myself and my now husband, and I made it to all the tables and spoke to everyone who came. It didn’t happen all at once, but I made it to every table repeatedly to speak to people. I also am uncomfortable with speaking to people, but it was actually fairly easy when I was there and we had long conversations also. I think once that wedding hits, you won’t have time to feel anxious because everything moves so quickly! I barely had time to feel nervous to walk down the aisle because everything was moving so fast
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  • RH912
    Devoted July 2018
    RH912 ·
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    Have him take the lead. You really just have to say thank you for coming. You won't be having long conversations.
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  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    The last wedding we went to the couple didn't come around to any tables and I thought it was extremely rude. They weren't at the cocktail hour and they made no effort to mingle with guests. I was really turned off by it and it solidified my decision to do table visits. People don't expect a full conversation with the bride and groom, so you really should only have to greet people, thank them for coming, and then move on to the next table.

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  • thyia
    Super August 2018
    thyia ·
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    Prepare a list of things you could say and shuffle as what seems fit. "Help yourself to the dessert bar" "how are you enjoying dinner?" "Thank you for making the trip" "can't wait to see your dance moves"
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  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    You don't need to worry about conversation starters at all! People will get up, hug you, say congrats, say you look beautiful, the ceremony was beautiful, the venue, etc... and then you're onto the next person. You don't need to chat about the weather or how their job is going, none of that is appropriate for table visits.

    And to all saying you won't get around to every table, it's not possible, most times the bride & groom don't go to every table, well, that's BS. I had 16 tables and 155 guests at my wedding and we visited every single table, and I still danced my ass off and partied plenty. You need to make the effort to do it, there's really no buts about it.

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  • Jillian
    Devoted August 2018
    Jillian ·
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    She was thinking timeline-wise especially because I was stressing that I need to eat (I can have blood sugar issues and I told her that it was very important that I needed to have time to eat because I’m not good about making time). She was saying that I would have time during the dancing and revelry to make it to every group. I haven’t really talked to FH about it so I’m not sure yet what we’re planning to do.
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