Tips on guest list for intimate wedding

FMIL suggested having a guest list of 50 and then try to allow for plus one's. But the issue was that my side of the family would swallow his in numbers.

So first, definitely don't invite people to the shower in lieu of the wedding. It's considered very rude. As far as cutting the guest list, cut in circles, i.e. all cousins are excluded etc. cut until you have the number you are looking for.

Build itg from the ground up, don't go out it at by narrowing it down.

parents and siblings and their so's. Your very closest friends.

As for the church; many people do a general invite to the ceremony and then cake and punch at the church before the family reception. This isn't considered a tiered reception, and it's done all the time. You announce it in the bulliten or from the pulpit, but don't send specific invites.

They also don't get invites to the shower. Very often work groups or church groups will throw a shower for you. If they do, you graciously accept it knowing THEY know they won't be at the wedding.

I'd probably invite your pastor and spouse to the family reception.

Agree with Celia on both points. My church does this all the time.

Following up on what Celia said, you are probably referring to significant others, which is not the same as plus ones. Plus ones are for truly single people. Significant others are those in relationships. So yes, SOs have to be invited, but truly single guests don't "need" to have a plus one.

Hopefully that makes a difference in your guest list, and can help narrow it down.

Wow, I wouldn't call 75 an "intimate" wedding but to each their own. We are having 20 so I don't know what you classify that as, I keep calling it intimate.

We started with who we absolutely had to have and moved out. We included SOs and plus ones just in case as well.

We kept it to only first cousins, no kids, if we hadn't talked/seen you in the past year you were cut as well.

Thanks for your feedback. I call 75 intimate because our family is HUGE!