Tips for Cutting Down Guestlist?

FH is a volunteer firefighter, which is a close knit group that seems to invite everyone to everything.

I feel like I am capable of having a low-pressure, low-stress wedding (and planning) as soon as I figure out this list. Does anyone have any really good tips to cutting down the list? Many of the ones I find online just don't seem possible.

My original thought was "Would this person call FH or I to wish us a happy birthday and vice versa?" and that actually weeded out a few.

We are lucky to have so many people in our lives we actually like to be around, but I don't want my wedding to be mingling around 200 people the whole time.

Sounds like you've done about everything you can do. Are the extended family people you would send a Christmas card too? My recommendation is, if you haven't communicated with them in the last year then they don't need an invite.

I would cut out coworker. Yes we all want coworker there but sometime it's okay to not invite them to everything. If you really want to save money do it outside in a state parks.

One of the things me and FH did to cut our list even more, is figure out who we would be upset if they didn't come. If it wouldn't effect us if they were there or not, they aren't that important to be there.

May help with wedding out friends and extended family.

I've found that it's easier to work your way up than to cut down. Start with your immediate family and work your way up. Set a number and once you hit that number, stop adding guests.

OP, this may help.

Melissa, I like that idea of who you'd invite to your house.

And our budget can accommodate a large crowd because we have some connections/gifts in other places (florists, hairdressers, even the gown) to cut costs. So this is more about us not wanting to have to greet 200 people and not spend genuine time with anyone, rather than cutting costs.

Futuremrsmack, I love that! Thanks

Why are you inviting your friend's parents? Also every guest does not need a plus 1. If you are inviting someone to your wedding you should know if they are in a relationship and you would invite their SO. If the person is single, you do not need to give them a plus 1.

I would also cut out the distant relatives. We only have immediate family attending our wedding. You might want to consider cutting out coworkers too. That is not necessary unless you are really friends with them enough that you hang out on a regular basis. I am not inviting any coworkers.

We just have one friend whose parents have done a lot for us, more than many family members would do, another was FH's daycare lady as a kid who he kept in touch with (and best man's mom), and one is MOH's parents who i'm also close with, but I imagine they'll have to be cut. Same as most coworkers, although we were each only inviting 3.

I know your FH is close to his coworkers but what about you? I opted out of inviting any of my coworkers. Not because I don't like them, but because I do not hang out with them outside of work. That is the first place I would look. I also am not extending an invite to many of my extended family members. My guest list is still 175 though lol...

We cut out from 250 to 100. Here's what we did

-Erase everyone from the list

-add parents, siblings and siblings spouse

-add aunts and uncles (my mom was insistent that all needed to be invited so this too a bigger chunk for us)

-add people I wanted to be in the bridal party ( I only wanted my sister, cousins and 1 friend. Keeping the bridal party small helped cut down)

-added a couple cousins, friends and a couple sets of family friends that I couldn't imagine not inviting

It also helped is that the venue we selected only has space for 100. We had to get our list under that number. I would suggest setting a number you are comfortable with and then starting you list. Once you reach your number, the list is done

You bite the bullet and cut the list. With the cost of attending the wedding hovering around 700 per person, it's almost a gift to be not invited.

There isn't a co worker on earth that wouldn't understand that weddings are expensive and you can't invite everyone.

You don't invite people out of obligation.

You don't invite relatives you don't talk to on a regular basis.

If their phone number isn't in your phone? No invite

Family friends, parents of friends? Nope.

Random plus ones? Nope.

Do you miss them if you don't talk to them for a month? If the answer is no the invite is a no.

I don't get these giant guest lists, and I can tell you, as the person next to the potted plant who doesn't know anyone at the wedding? At big weddings, many of the guests you sweated over an paid dearly for, could be anywhere. They're on their phones, they're interacting with the one person they came with, and they add nothing to your day. It's really pointless to invite them.

Time to get brutal with the red pen, and the result will be a more personal, celebratory wedding with people who ACTUALLY care about being there.

I would say cut coworkers.

I like Celia's suggestion of having their phone number. I remember FSIL running around with her address book hoping she would run into people her husband insisting on inviting, and the wedding was HUGE.

But I honestly thought it was rude not to allow adults to bring a date? Is this common? That would also significantly cut the list, probably about 20 people right there, if not more. Our high estimate is 179.

Imo it's rude to not add plus ones for people who are engaged, married, or seriously dsting, or for singles who will not know the majority of the other guests.