Tips for Bartender

I was a bartender for many years. I worked wedding where there were tips jars and some there were none. As a bartender, I prefer no tip jar. When you have been there for three hours and the tips are coming in then it can effect people. I had a co worker who wouldn't provide anything but beer or wine and would refuse to mix drinks if he wasn't getting enough tips and then that fell on me.

With that being said, our bartender has gone beyond for our wedding. He asked us what alcohol we wanted and found us our favorite cider from Sweden, Rikorderlig. We have to prepay for our special order so I gave him a tip just for the special order because he went above and beyond. We have already figured a very generous tip into our budget for the bartender. Since the bar will be open from 3:30 pm to 4:00 pm, then for cocktail hour and 4 reception hours, we are planning on at the minimum of 1200 for a tip.

@miranda I would either ask them for a more detailed service charge break down to really see where it's going, or throw another $50 or so onto their suggested tip. Here's the thing...that $50 may not be much on top of everything else for you, but it will mean a lot to your bartender.

@CoBoundAdv that is awesome that he has been able to do that for you and your tip is truly amazing. You will definitely have very happy guests!!

No, please do not allow a tip jar. It's tacky. Your guests should not be prompted to tip anyone. It's your job to tip the bartender (which you are). Some guests may still choose to tip him, and that's fine, but there should not be a jar sitting out.

Kate - do not pass tipping duties onto your guests for your event. It is YOUR job to tip the service staff not theirs. If it's 16% per your venue, then that's what you should pay.

Jessi - I'm sorry but tips in a service industry are based on service. If this bartender that Nancy is speaking of had a poor attitude and provided poor service, then no, he does not deserve to be tipped well. I'm surprised you are so strongly defending someone you don't even know who apparently was rude to guests. You seem to think bartenders should automatically be handed $40 by every wedding guest regardless of service or attitude. Such entitlement!

A tip jar might make some guests avoid the bar altogether if they have no cash on them

I get that, and its not that i disagree, but 20% of my bar cost is $500. thats a HUGE tip for one bartender (there will only be one because of the # of guests) - and you guys are all talking about tipping $100. a $100 tip isn't an option for me. there's just no great solution in my situation.

Emily said it best.

@Jesssi, Yes I generally have a sunny attitude. I have to. I teach school. Any sour faced teacher wouldn't last long. Besides mature adults generally leave their problems at home and don't take them to work. At least they should.

For those who say $100 tip is a lot for 4 hours of bartending, keep in mind that with prep, clean up, and travel time, you're looking at a minimum off 6 hours of work, which comes out to $16 an hour, without benefits, etc. that most professions get. No judgement on those of you who are questioning, just putting in my two cents

And to those who think a jar is classless and the bride and groom should pay the tip... I do agree that it is the bride and groom's responsibility, but as a former server of large catered parties, I can be a bit untrusting. If I'm a wedding guest and have excellent service, I'd like the opportunity to tip my bartender extra without making a big deal of it, because I do always wonder if they are getting tipped correctly. A tip jar would make me feel more comfortable as a guest.

Edit: CoBoundAve, interesting point about the tips affecting the work. And Jaime-Leigh pointed out avoiding the bar if you have no cash on you, which also is a valid point, as I rarely carry cash, especially in a dress at an event. I'd be curious if anyone could think of a good compromise though, because I do like to have the opportunity to tip extra for good service.

No tip jar. Guest will definitely give the tips directly to the bartender