Tipping

Being a woman doesn’t mean you like (or aren’t allergic to) candles and hand lotions. I understand what you’re saying, but I think a kind thank you note and great reviews across all the platforms they use (google, Facebook, WW, the knot, etc) would be better than a random gift bag of assorted things they may or may not be able to use.

Tip them out of money you are likely to receive as a wedding present

Agree with PP, instead of random gift bags, write them a hand written note and incredibly positive reviews. Also consider using money that you are gifted to include some sort of tip. Depending on who your vendors are, they may not require a tip, or may have included it in their pricing.

View Quoted Comment I’m going to second this. I am very sensitive to scents and I can’t walk in to Bath & Body without getting a headache. If it came down to it, I’m sure they’d rather have positive reviews across the different platforms. As others have said, you’re likely to get some money as wedding gifts that you could use for tips. You’ve got a couple of months til your wedding so you could just put away every $5 bill you get between now and then to try to save up for tips between now and then.

That's incredibly inappropriate as well as sexist. They are not friends, they are business people with whom you have a professional relationship. Find a way to make it work and tip them with money. This should have been built into your budget from the beginning. Cut costs wherever you have to. Giving them lotion is not an appropriate gesture.

Either tip them with money, or as people above said, write a letter praising their services, and do a few online reviews that are very positive. For a professional, it is downright insulting to get scents and candles and little gifts. You ate not their girlfriend, or a little kid giving something bought with your allowance, to an adult. . . . Tipping is optional in many areas, but in some, like wait staff, hairdressers, it may be basic income.

Some of these people really need to be tipped with money. I echo the advice to tip out of whatever you receive as wedding gifts. Don't give them lotion, for sure.

I agree with the above. I think lotion would be a waste of your money. We tipped all our vendors *after* the fact— we mailed them a nice note and a check. As a service provider, I’m never bothered by a late tip; I’d rather wait to receive a small thank you than get gifted something I wouldn’t ever use.

View Quoted Comment I need that money for my honey moon I can't. I cant make money appear. I wouldnt be able to tip more then 10 dollars and thought that would be rude. I'm sorry I dont have a lot of money. I'm already shelling out thousands it's hard to shell out hundreds more.

View Quoted Comment Candles and lotion from BBW is gonna cost much more than 10 dollars a person. Even if it's a small tip, positive reviews, and a thank you note, I'm sure they'll still appreciate it.

It was just an idea I had. I didnt wanna be rude and tip nothing but I'm working 70 hours a week trying to pay it all off and get geared up for next semester. I had the money but I had two family deaths and funerals to pay for and it ate my budget after I was locked into contract. I'm not a rude person I'm not someone to doesnt tip I'm a great tipper it's just things happen and I was trying to be sweet to them

It looks like your wedding is coming up fast so it may not be possible to cancel something but can you cancel the photo booth, extra appetizer, guestbook table decor, or something to find a few hundred dollars?

View Quoted Comment I have all that stuff already and already paid off.

Like many people said the lotions and candles are things most people don't use, it comes off as rude to give gifts but not money.
I will retiterate what others said, a very nice handwritten thank you, maybe even explaining you had budgeted a tip but had two deaths, would be more appropriate. As many people said you are in a business relationship with your vendors, not a friendship, you should be upfront and polite about it. As business women they will likely appreciate positive reviews to get more business than anything else, just leave really good reviews shortly after the wedding.
While it really sucks not getting a tip a lot of vendors will know it's a risk that someone won't do it, keeping the relationship professional is the best thing to do.