Tipping

Here is a suggested tip sheet I found online:

There is no one size fits all answer because everyone has different financial situations. However, regardless of how much money you have or don’t have, don’t tip anyone the day of the wedding. Even wedding planners on Tiktok advise that, as controversial as the app is in general. A tip is a thank you for a job above and beyond the call of duty only. It is not a reward for just showing up, not doing the job as agreed on, and/or not showing up and still expecting in each situation that it is an automatic fee because society says it is guaranteed no matter what. The other time when no tip should be given is when the caterer lists their mandatory tip as a gratuity. That is a tip you are unfortunately not able to negotiate but they sure do expect you to double tip and they know that they don’t have to be on their A++ game because it will be paid to them no matter what. That is blatant dishonesty and and people still say that wedding vendors everywhere are always honest all the time? That is not how tips were intended to work when they were created but if you don’t follow the hive mind of tipping blindly on the day of, then you are shamed and told that you are not paying the vendors a fair amount. The reason why it is widely suggested to wait until after the wedding is over and you come back from your honeymoon is so that you can assess their performances objectively without the rose colored glasses of the wedding day. Family, friends and vendors all work hard to hide the bad parts of the day so that couples don’t know that anything less than perfect happened, so the couple tips their vendors $$ that they would never if they knew what really went on. Maybe your parents mention that a florist didn’t show up so someone had to run to the grocery store for bouquets, or a different vendor had an issue that could not be resolved and affected the day but the coordinator did their best to smooth it over. Maybe something felt off to the couple but they went along with it instead of listening to their gut and they tipped everyone a large amount even though the back of their mind says it’s not a great idea.


It’s not like the vendor changes their contact information and shop location so they drop off the face of the earth to prevent the couple from giving a tip at their discretion after the wedding. Also, it doesn’t stop the couple from writing honest reviews online on Yelp and Google which don’t allow vendors to remove less than 5 star reviews.
There is also a myth that a business owner should never be tipped if the service is above and beyond. If you are tipping everyone else, why would they go unacknowledged? Catering/bar staff who are not owners are paid an hourly wage so they are not dependent on wages like a waiter in a restaurant who is paid $2/hr and depends on tips from customers who don’t tip. If you decide to tip those who went above and beyond only, pick a set amount that you can afford based on the quality of service provided ($100 as an example) because a percentage of the total bill will put most people into debt if they don’t have the unlimited income to cover those costs.

15-20% is always the appropriate amount for a tip in the US.

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20% tip is mostly for waiters, they get paid $2-3/ hour, both my kids do that. I'm not paying 20% to photographer for example who are charging $4000 for wedding. Maybe a gift card of $50. This new culture with must be 20% tips is getting ridiculous. Even when you go to subway now, they give you receipt with optional tip line, like WTH! this only started couple years ago.

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I agree, thank you for suggesting waiting till after wedding! I did not know that, and I was stressing about making sure to get cash tips in envelopes to hand at wedding. Like I have enough stress with everything I need to get done, cause I'm on a budget and planning and doing everything DYI. It makes sooo much sense to wait when you have all facts.