Tipping your vendors

It is customary to tip everyone who is not the owner of the business.

And the service charge does not go to waitstaff at all! They are paid a respectable hourly wage. A tip for them all (even $20 each) is greatly appreciated.

As far as what's customary- you'll get a million different answers. I would think 15% is about normal, or a little less if they are highly paid. The photographer probably owns their own company. Ettiquette states you don't have to tip, but it is certainly an appreciated gesture. Maybe not 15%, but $100-200 or so.

I wouldn't tip your coordinator at the hotel too much. While it is appreciated, that is their job. Unless they truly go above and beyond, keep it very modest.

*bump* I'm curious about this too...The gratuity for all of the waitstaff and bartenders was included in my reception contract, but what about photographer, videographer, DJ, bakery, reception hall owner/coordinator? Photo booth attendant?

I would think that those people are all "independant contractors/business owners" so I won't be tipping them, I'm already paying for their services. I think this is mostly just for waitstaff and bartenders.

I tiped my limo driver, the DJ, my matridee, the chef, videographer's assistant and the head waitress.

Limo driver got $100

DJ got $150

Matridee $100

Chef got $300

Assistant and waitress also both got $50

@Fabulous if I remember you're a Philly SoNJ bride right? Did you use a hotel in the area or were you at one of the other wedding venues? We are at the Radisson and we have the coordinator and a maitre'd for the day...

Most of us wedding owners would prefer a glowing testimonial

:-)

Like others said, that 22% service charge goes to the venue, not the actual staff working their butts off at the wedding. Read the contract really carefully just to make sure, but I would tip on top of that (on the original amount, not the bill that includes the 22% fee).

Our photographer/videographer/DJ own their companies. But, they've all been AWESOME. So we might tip them or at least send them a thank-you gift afterwards.

Gratuity for wait/bar staff is in our contract. We're tipping our drivers, and the poor security guard guy who gets assigned our wedding (not that we're rowdy but it's going to be a long day). Our musicians are FFIL's buddies, he's taking care of them somehow but we'll tip them too.

The only person I'm not sure of is the pastor. We're getting married in a church where we don't belong and he's spending tons of time with us. We're paying for his time, but do we tip him? I'm a pastor's kid, I had never heard of anyone tipping clergy before WW.

At the end of the day,,,,If you feel they over perform, tip

We didn't tip the photographers because they own their business. Our venue did include gratuity. However, we felt that the wait staff went above and beyond so we left them some more. We also tipped the DJ and valets.

Boy yeah, I'd rather have a great thank you note.

Do you tip your DOC -if she is employed by your venue?

Pastor was another good question.

Or DJ told us that he would rather have a great review and a thank-you note than a tip... (he also owns his own business)

Do you tip Bartenders? (they already have a tip cup out, right?)

. . . i work in a luxury hotel, and many hotels DO pass along some of the service charge to the servers (not all of it of course). check your contract or, just ask. it varies by property so be sure to ask.

I would NOT let BT's put tip cups out. It's tacky, plain and simple. That is a pet peeve of mine, and always has been.

An independent officiant, like me, gets a fee. If your church pastor is doing your wedding, depending on what the fee is (if there is one) you might get him a gift card; I would ask.....yes.....the CHURCH LADIES. They know everything.

As for servers? Ask you caterer/venue flat out if the service charge includes any kind of extra tip for the staff.

@Celia......I think I'm having a reading comprehension fail, were you being sarcastic about the thank-you note? I'm sorry. I have no reading comprehension today.

I wasn't saying a thank you note would ever replace a tip, I meant more that even for our vendors who own their own businesses that we would NOT customarily tip, we would at LEAST send a thank you note if we decide not to tip, and maybe a little gift card or something.

Clarify if you think that's okay or not? And do you think it's tacky to ask those church ladies if we should tip the pastor?

You're so right. Church ladies DO know everything. Those women make the world go round.

Also- second vote for no tip cup. As a guest, that would make me worry that you weren't tipping your staff at all, and then I wouldn't know what to do. As a guest I might tip a dollar per visit anyway, but I shouldn't have to worry about the staff being taken care of totally.

@Kris I didnt know if Celia was being serious or sarcastic either.

I agree to no tip cup. Most of my guests understand they need to tip the bar . I will be sure to clarify percentages with the coordinator on how the service charge/tip is allocated.

Thanks ladies for the input

If the pastor is the head pastor of the church they would usually prefer that you donate to the church itself. That's what the pastor we're using told us anyways, because, well, I''m blunt, and I asked. Lol.

Read your hotel contract- Mine Specifically calls out Gratuity INCLUDED. We have a personal Valet & DOC provided by the hotel - No Tip.

Here's who will be tipped by us and asked to refrain from accepting tips or having a tip cup out:

Coat Room Girl

Bathroom Attendent

Bartenders

Delivery people will be tipped 5-10 bucks

Wedding Planner, Officiant, Hair/MU, DJ, Florist, Photog will NOT be tipped - they are the owners. Photog is a husband/wife team.

We're not doing Limos.

Have I forgotten anything? I don't want any cash surprises the day of either...