Tipping vendors

Photographer was a gift from cousins, we fed the band and the wedding co-ordinator should have tipped us. I have never heard of tipping the florist , baker, moving men or plumber. As I have stated before.. America needs to follow Europe. No tipping. It's getting out of hand

Nancy I agree, but in certain industries, the workers are underpaid because of the expectation for gratuity, so not tipping is completely rude and a real problem for the person providing the service.

We should get back on a system where the employer pays their employees appropriate wages so they don't need the hand outs, tips, to make ends meet but I won't be the customer that screws over a waiter because "tipping is stupid"

This comes up literally every day; if you scroll, you'll find a lot of information from people who don't necessarily want to post again. Seriously, every single day.

But particular to your thread, don't listen to Nancy, who appears to be living in another decade when it comes to anything from BM's dresses to fondant.

Tip people who go over the top for you; I don't mean the guy who sliced your bagel, as he is paid to do. But the plumber who showed up at dawn and allowed you to flush before noon? Hell yes. The florist who found those white lilacs? Yep.

As for your venue, this is one of my huge pet peeves. If your venue has a 'gratuity' or a 'service charge', find out exactly what it's for and who gets it. It may just cover their salary.

If you are inclined or justified to tip on top, I used to recommend 25-50. per server, more for your maitre d/captain/bridal attendant. Most of my venues here have totally superior people, and honestly, they make the day so smooth that while I don't tip them, they all get holiday gifts.

Bartenders are a little stickier. I have never been at a bar at a cocktail hour where every guest didn't tip for every pour, tip cup or not. That is a discussion to also have with your venue.

I just found out the bartenders are not paid but only get the tips from the wedding. So I am going to take care of him before the wedding to let him know I appreciate his work. Same is true for any vendor who is there to make my day what I want it to be. This is a service industry. I will tip my day of coordinator a percentage and also the dj, photo booth operator and the valets and coat people. I will give the photographer a card and tip after I get the pictures.

You raise a good point Dawn. It's good to know exactly how service people, especially restaurant/venue staff are paid.

@Dawn: Bartenders only get tips and are not paid? That doesn't sound right, not to mention illegal.

@ Celia Milton: I do have opinions on many things. This is a forum. I am sure you are a nice lady but seem to think any service person with a pulse and draws breath, needs a tip. We differ. This keeps the forum interesting.

Don't mean to piggy back off this post, but what about if you are having no servers and doing a food truck?

It's clear that you've never worked in a service industry, and no, that's not what I think. I have said, over and over, IF they go over the top, then they get a tip.

Partly replying so the newest "who do I tip" thread gets benefit of this.

@Celia, given that you have some experience with this...how do I know how many servers are there to tip? I guess I can ask ahead, but I would not want to forget anyone. Second, how does that tip get distributed? I do not want to remember that and track staff down on my wedding night. I don't think it's fair to ask someone in wedding party to do it either. Do I just give to maitre d and they distribute? I actually am not charged a service fee, unusual for around here. It would have been several thousand...is that what I need to tip?

Unrelated; I love your ring.

Okay! I'd ask! You'll have servers, bussers, bartenders and a maitre d' or captain. If you trust your venue, and hopefully you do, you could put little envelopes together with an amount for each and give it to the maitre D.

What I usually saw was 25-50 for each server, 20. for each busser, 100-150 for the maitre D. Bartenders? You should ask if they get paid, rely on tips from the clients, and be exactly informed about that.

I am not anti-tipping at all; I LOVE tipping for great service but I'm also a big fan of people actually getting tips and transparency.

@Celia thank you for the compliment...and thank you for the advice. The tipping thing seems to be something that makes my venue uncomfortable. They say, we believe if people want to tip they can tip. And is that enough for the maitre D? I keep hearing things like $3-5 per person which brings me closer in the $500-$700 range.