Tipping Question

I was hoping I could get some feedback about something I experienced with my wedding two weeks ago. A few days before the wedding our wedding planner (who is the Manager of the venue we got married at as well) handed us roughly 13 different tipping envelopes all with "suggested" tipping amounts written in the corner. I did extensive research about tipping etiquette before the wedding and budgeted to tip the catering staff, the hair stylist and my makeup artist. I assumed when he said he would be giving tipping envelopes that day, it would be for those individuals. Instead, it included venue staff such as the groundskeepers, the front desk check-in (we got married at a Bed & Breakfast style location), the managers (day and night shift since we were staying overnight), the chef & assistant chef (we had breakfast the next day in their dining room), the caterer, the wedding planner himself, and his assistant (no envelopes for make or hair, but I tipped them directly myself). There are more people he suggested, but it is not important. I had overlooked a few staff so I was grateful to have been made aware: the maids, the parking attendants, and the waiters for breakfast. In total, the tips he "suggested" equaled close to $3,000. His tip as my wedding planner was suggested at $800 - I paid him $2,500 for his services. That is a 32% tip and he said that was the minimum he is usually tipped, but he is given more oftentimes. Everything online said wedding planners do not get tipped and if they do, its a couple hundred bucks. Anyways, it upset me because I got the impression these were not optional in his mind. When I handed him the envelopes, I handed him four envelopes back for the people I felt were owed and deserved tips - caterer, parking attendants, maids, and servers. He confronted me about it and reminded me he gave me 13 envelopes and listed the various people that included. I told him I unfortunately could not afford to tip all those people to which he said and I quote "what do you want me to tell [his assistant]?" I already felt guilty enough not meeting an obvious financial expectation of the staff that worked there, but then basically saying "how could you not tip my assistant?" I I felt so guilty I told him that when I got back from my honeymoon I would send her a tip in the envelope he gave me b/c I literally did not have any extra money at that moment to tip his assistant - I was completely tapped out and heading to my honeymoon. In my opinion, he should have never asked me what to tell his assistant because tipping is 100% OPTIONAL therefore if she gets one great, but if she doesn't then it is what it is. I don't feel like they should have given me tipping envelopes to begin with and it's awful they put me in that situation. Anyways, the point of this post was to ask if anyone else had been given tipping envelopes for their wedding with suggested values written on them, or was my wedding planner/venue unique in doing so? A list of individuals to potentially tip would have been great, but setting up an expectation by writing in amounts put unnecessary pressure on me and has really left me quite jaded with my experience. Thanks in advance for your feedback.