Tipping for Buffet Dinner

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There's nothing flawed about my logic at all. It's just the way I see things. I don't see this issue the way you do. As I stated before this needs to be included in the final bill. The company needs to make sure they include enough of a gratuity to compensate staff they will have working the event. This is special event catering, not a restaurant. I'm not going to be walking around looking for wait staff or anybody else to tip at my wedding. I will be getting pulled left and right by guests, husband, photographers, etc.

Again if they are making $2,500 for the day with automatic inclusion of say a gratuity of 15% that $375 dollar they can nicely disperse between 4 people, not to mention the service fee they are getting. This is the caterer's responsibility to look out for their staff and to schedule staff in a way that each person would receive a nice tip. I paid the bill now you take care of your employees. If they don't know how to schedule employees based on the amount they are making on that event and make sure they get the proper compensation for the day, they don't need to be in business.

If they are making my day special.....well that's their job, they are in the service industry and customer service is first and foremost. It's not extra, it's what they are suppose to do in that industry....which leads to referrals and more business. I expect the caterer and their staff to be on-point and do their job.

View Quoted Comment Have you ever worked in a service industry?

View Quoted Comment No, but that's neither here nor there. The caterer can get a tip, but they need to include it in the bill or the quote. If they say do you mind paying the tip portion of the bill in cash when you bring the check. No problem, just don't expect me to be tipping individual wait staff at my wedding reception cause I'm not going to be thinking about that.

I completely agree with joey. You tip waiters bc they are not paid a full living wage so the tips are needed to supplement their income. If there is already a labor charge that is reasonable (ie, per person calculated to 20+ per hour per wait staff), then NO tip is not needed. Do you really tip every single person in the “service” industry? If you did, you wouldn’t be able to live bc all your money would to go tips. Only a small group of people live off tips and yes you should tip them. Everyone else...only if you feel like it.

View Quoted Comment By that logic (you don't want to be the one handing out or dealing with tips), it should be fine for your DOC to do so. Youve mentioned having one. Can he hand out the tips? Problem solved!

View Quoted Comment What are you doing each day that if you tipped, you'd have no money to live?

View Quoted Comment People here are saying you tip people in the service industry. Who isn’t in the service industry? Why not tip all the cashier? The cafeteria ladies at your kids schools? Your mailman because they bring you your mail? Your baker when you pick up desserts at the grocery store? Your barista at the coffee shop? Your florist when you pick up flowers? People who work at fast food joints because they cook and serve you too? Should I go on?

View Quoted Comment Karen, I couldn't agree more that not all service workers should be tipped. I had this discussion with a coworker a few weeks ago. She lives in NY and I am in NC. She told me every hear she gives her mailman, garage man and UPS guy a tip. I had never heard this before. I did get my mailman a small holiday gift (new touchscreen gloves) but I did not give money/tip like she did.

Has anyone else heard of this? Was I totally wrong not to tip these people considering I dont interact with them and they get paid for their job?

View Quoted Comment When they present me with the food quote the line item for the tip percentage needs to be on the quote. If I agree with the quote and hire them, the line item for the tip percentage also need to be on the invoice.

I'm not going to pay any additional money that is not reflected on the invoice. I pay the deposit and the day of or after the event I'm to pay the remaining balance. The DOC can hand them the check for the remaining balance. I will not be figuring out at my reception how much cash I should hand wait staff as a tip nor will my DOC. No cash will be exchanged with vendors at my reception. My focus is not on money on my wedding day and who gets a tip, it's on my new husband, my guest and my grandchildren. What they list in the contract / invoice is what they are going to get.

View Quoted Comment It was in the contract with our bartender that they would be allowed to display a tip jar. I asked just to make sure it wouldn’t include a huge flashy “TIPS” sign in glitter or anything like that. They said the bartender uses a glass. I’m cool with that

View Quoted Comment Exactly!!!

My service fees include a tip for the caterers. I would look within your agreement because 25% sounds too high to not be included

Consider for a moment the waiter, waitress, valet. They have no control (and probably no knowledge) of what a vendor (their boss) negotiates in a given contract. Furthermore, the minimum wage is much less in the service industry ($2.13 p.hr, I think). If the vendor is not including gratuities (do your due diligence and ask) than you are only hurting the low-man on the totem pole and he/she is the one doing the "grunt work" to make your day special.

Your position on this matter makes sense. However, the service industry works differently. Partial compensation is contingent on the level of service you receive. Even the government agrees with this and this is why there is a different (significantly lower) minimum wage for service workers. There is an expectation that a gratuity will be provided. Ask your vendors and if they are not providing a gratuity...rather than take an "It's not my problem" position, perhaps consider asking them to include the gratuity in the contract or switch vendors.

Ask your venue how they pay the servers, etc. too. Ours are paid well over minimum wage and our coordinator there told us $20-$30 per is more than enough.