Tipping Bartenders and Waitstaff

No tip cup. people will tip them anyway, but it shouldn't be that obvious.

Our bartender will not be having a tip jar out at our wedding. As someone from the service industry, it sucks, but I am not expecting our guests to feel like they should tip every time they get a drink.

I would definitely ask the wedding coordinator with your venue what the norm is there.

People should tip the bartenders, esp if it's open bar. If the food and bartenders are through your venue, then you shouldn't need to tip if the gratuity is already added. For us there is already 18% gratuity added onto our bill for the staff attending to our wedding.

I've been wondering similar things myself. After all, I'm a Brit and we don't do tipping very naturally. (But I'm learning).

That said when I worked weddings as a bartender more often than not the FoB or FoG would show up at the bar at the end of the night with an envelope for me. They would have gone round and collected some from everyone. Then there would be the usual embarrassed English 'avoid eye contact, mumbled 'oh you didn't have to do that..' ' etc.

So I don't know, the English in me says a tip jar at the bar avoids all embarrassment!

The vendor that we are using for the bar gave us the option of either spending several hundred extra as a tip, or leaving a tip jar out. My mom thinks it's tacky but we are leaving a tip jar out. The guy even said the bartenders prefer it since they make more money.

Future, your guests will tip them any way, and the venue knows that. That's crap.

I actually don't think I've ever tipped at a wedding where there wasn't a jar. I don't think the jar is great, but no, most people don't know to tip. I figure if the jar is not there, then they are taking care of the tip separately.

Also coming from bartending veteran.

We are paying 20% gratuity so no tips coming from me! I've always slipped the bartender a tip even if there's no jar.

Maybe I'm digging myself into a tacky hole but I thought I could do a "cute" tip jar so that it's not an eyesore.

I'm not too concerned about tipping contracted vendors but as someone who's worked in the service industry I'm worried about the service staff not being compensated well. Even giving the cash to the venue coordinator makes me uncertain (she's dating the venue owner).

Curious about this because I have an 18% automatic gratuity on my bill already as well. Do I tip on top?

20% gratuity is included for caterer. As for the bartenders we aren't having a tip jar but our bartending service did require a gratuity for the bartender like @ future. A a wedding I never have cash on me and wait to my fh to tip the bartender. I don't want my guests to feel like they need to give tips either way. If they do with out a jar out its on them but at least I know that the bartenders got something

Usually the 20% 'gratuity' is the service charge that pays their salary. I"ve never been at a bar at a wedding that the person in front of me didn't throw a couple of bucks on the bar, tip cup or not.

Irregardless, it's tacky. If you're unsure, maybe you could tip the people directly; when we were catering, lots of our clients did that.

We gave the catering manager an envelope of 20% of the labor costs associated with catering. She parceled it out to everyone.

I always tip the bar tender... If no jar I leave it on the par. We are paying a hefty fee too but I'm going to tip the 2 bartenders anyway. They will be making/pouring drinks for 3.5 hours. I don't know what they make but I'm going to give them each $125 at the end of the day. I'm going to tip the DJ just $100; he owns his business. I'll tip the officiant $100 as well. She will be there about 15 minutes but has the most important job. Since we are having passed apps and champagne, etc I will also tip the waitstaff $125 each. I plan on giving my son a bunch of cash with a sticky note on whom to pay what. I'm not going to have the catering manager tip because I want to know for sure the tips go to the right people.

@Robin I think you're on par with what I should tip. I'm just having a hard time accepting that I'll be pushing my budget another $1,000 for tipping.

Maybe it's just me being selfish but the cost for vendors is getting annoying. Adding tipping and dinner cost to their already hefty price tags is getting to me.

I have a 20% charge on my catering bill that is NOT 'gratuity' its a service charge basically how these people make their money. (the caterers) tip for servers and bartenders is up to us and probably will come in form of an envelope.

-every wedding or event that ive been to i always see a tip jar. hmm now im curious.

Our food was part of our wedding package. We just had MIL hand some cash to the waiters and bartender during the reception lol