Tipping Bartender w/ a Tip Jar

Just like at Starbucks, I’m not a fan for the tip jar. As the host of my party, my guests should not feel obligated to tip. Tip jars are tacky. But I agree they both should be tipped. $75 to $100 each seems reasonable. Trust me-the drinkers will tip without the jar.

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Andrea, you make some great points.

We are not working with a company so this $300 will go completely to the husband wife duo.

I do agree that if they are exceptional I will probably give them more. But going into it I am trying to have an idea of the amount of cash on hand for the event. It's too late to change bartenders and do feel as we have gotten closer they have put all the prep work on us. I have a million and one things to get done on the wedding day and now I have to figure out who will be cutting limes and lemons.

But if they kick butt the night of the wedding I could see giving them a higher tip - but thus far I have not received that service.

View Quoted Comment Oh that is so frustrating. They should 100% be prepping for the night by preparing all the garnishes. That’s not above and beyond that’s just standard. I would get ahold of them and make sure they know what the expectations of them are. So sorry for the added stress, you should have zero thoughts about details like that. That’s why we hire people to do it for us! Very annoying that they are not doing what they should be. Hope it all works out!

Since it is considered I'll mannered for any vendor or server to accept tips from guests, I do not know any hosts of a wedding who would allow it. And I worked catering for years. Bartenders at a bar get tips to make an adequate wage. Base pay may be $10-15 per hour, enough for tax withholding and Soc Security etc. And the additional $10-$100 an hour tips are the rest of his wages. You are paying his full wages, and around here a minimum for wages would usually be at least $30 an hour, including set up and clean up. So a minimum of $225 to $250 per bartender for a reception from you, as wages. Without a tip jar, some will still tip. But the tip jar says, you are not paying him a sufficient wage. When you are , that is , not just the low base pay that a restaurant would.

I think a tip jar is fine, I just wouldn’t include the sign. I’ve never been to an open bar wedding and not tipped the bartender. Tip jar or not most guest always tip a buck or two each time they are at the bar or drop a ten with the first round. If you are doing the prepping the night before (that’s crazy) I think $75-$100 each is fine.

Pay your bartender well and let them have a tip jar. They are doing you a service and an important, stressful one at that. It's ridiculous to think that helping a service worker get more tips via tip jar is somehow "tacky". If you have the money to pay your bartender well, you have an obligation to. It's a hugely important aspect of your wedding that involves standing for hours and hours of interface with a whole lot of people.

View Quoted Comment What is with all the zombie threads being resurrected? Anyway, no, you pay and tip your bartender appropriately or if that’s not in the budget you host what you can afford. Guests should no more expect to take out their wallets at a wedding than if they were invited to a dinner party. Both are private, hosted social functions. People may do it in some circles but that doesn’t make it appropriate hosting practice.

View Quoted Comment Imagine arguing with someone over paying somebody well :/

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You missed the point. It's up to the hosts to pay them generously and well, nobody else. But feel free to make a new thread if you want to debate the finer points.