Tipping an unsatisfactory vendor?

A vendor who performs badly should not receive any tip. A tip is a thank you for going above and beyond the call of duty. Since they did not in any way, by tipping them, you are essentially telling them "thank you for treating us badly and please do it all future clients".

Agree- if they treat you this crappy than they most definitely don’t deserve a tip. That tip is if they go above & beyond- she hasn’t even held up a major part of the contract!

If they don't perform to your standards them don't tip them, simple as that!

My coordinator did a mediocre job. We originally had planned to tip her $500 but held off on giving it to her until after the wedding. After sending her an email voicing our concerns about how she dropped the ball on specific things, she passed the blame on other vendors and basically made it seem like we were being nit-picky. Due to her inability to own up to her mistakes and brush them off as “not a big deal” eventually led us to not send her tip. So if they end up sucking and can’t take ownership for when they mess up, do NOT tip them.

From what I researched on tips from etiquette guides it's not expected to tip a vendor that owns the business and/or works for themselves since it is assumed they are already charging what they want to be paid. For example: my DOC owns her own business so we may tip her depending on our budget and if we feel she goes above/beyond, etc. Our DJ will be an employee of the DJ company that we contracted with so we will prepare a tip for him/her.

More importantly: if your DOC was supposed to have already taken over and you aren't able to contact her then she is (assumably) in violation of your contract and is no longer entitled to her fee, at least not all of it depending on if she does show up at the wedding. I'd say you're definitely in the clear from any social or moral obligation to tip her. The problem you do seem to have is that she's gone MIA and is unreachable. You need to call, text and email, Facebook, etc. and if you don't get in contact I'd say prepare for the possibility that she took your money and skipped out. It's pretty unusual to have paid the full fee up-front without any work having been done, my DOC only required a 50% deposit with the other half due the wedding day. Usually vendors/planners/etc. usually know each other in the areas that they work. Can you confide in another vendor that you have a relationship with what's going on and ask if they know her or recommend a last-minute replacement? I know when I had my meeting with my DOC I asked her what would happen if she was sick or unable to be at my wedding and she said that another coordinator from town would take over for her.

Iwould not tip them if they don't provide good customer service.

Thank you all for your help!! I agree that it is very strange that I had to pay her 100% before even meeting her. I will reach out to one of my closest vendors to see if they have any advice for a potential last minute replacement and will hold off on tipping her unless she somehow knocks it out of the park on the wedding day.

How did you pay for the service? If you paid with a credit card, I'd contact the company and tell them you never received the service and see if you can contest the charge. They may be able to refund your payment.

I will not be tipping anyone who does a bad job. Sorry but I don't care. You do a good job or you don't get a tip.

I agree with the others; tips are for above and beyond service, or at least good service.

When was the last time you reached out to her? How are you trying to get hold of her?

View Quoted Comment I have been emailing her. Unfortunately I don’t have a phone number for her. She finally responded to something yesterday but that still gives me little confidence that things will go smoothly on the wedding day!

View Quoted Comment How a vendor interacts during planning is an indication of how they will interact on your wedding day. Follow your gut and find a new vendor rather than hoping a bad one pulls through.