Hello!
My fiancee and I are planning our wedding reception for next year (we are getting married in an immediate family only ceremony this year). Our top-choice venue does NOT include gratuity in their per person meal costs
(our venue uses an exclusive caterer). Their packet states "there is no service charge or gratuity added to your bill! Tipping is at your discretion." On the day of the event, what would be proper protocol for tipping/gratuity? We live on the east coast close to a major city, so catering is pretty expensive here. We are most likely going to spend about $145-160 per person for dinner/dessert (alcohol is provided by us - yay!). Adding another 15-20% to that $145-160 for 120-130 people is a tough pill to swallow - around $4000! It also seems like it could be excessive tipping, especially if it isn't required by the venue. But we consider ourselves to be good tippers and definitely don't want to do the wrong thing! Would it be appropriate to tip the servers/bar staff/chefs etc a set dollar amount each (i.e. $20-150 depending on their role) instead of 15-20% of the overall food bill? Or is the 15-20% the correct way to go and a $4000 dollar tip is just the norm in the wedding business?
We have been trying to find an answer to this question online, and most etiquette blogs say 15-20% of the bill OR a set dollar amount per job. However, since catering is so expensive in our area, the difference in amounts between doing a % of the bill vs a set dollar amount per worker is huge (nearly $2000)!
We really hope to make this venue work - we had several first dates there and have always thought we would get married there.....until the pandemic hit. Now, essentially planning 2 different wedding events between this year and next year, we want to make sure we understand all the costs we will face before committing to this dream venue for our reception next year - we are planners and don't like surprises!
Thank you in advance for your advice!
