Tip versus service charge?

A service charge does not go to the wait staff unless it specifically states that it does.
My caterer charged us a fee per server, don’t remember how much, we tipped each one $20 on top of that.
Our bartender was an independent contractor who over charged us for her services in my opinion. All she did was pour beer, wine, and pre-mixed drinks (we didn’t have an open bar, mixed drinks were only during cocktail hr). She charged us $350 (for 5 hrs) and did not receive anything additional from us. Against our wishes she did put out a tip jar. So... I guess it would depend on what they’re getting paid from the venue/caterer/you outside of tips. Most wait staff get $2.13 an hr, but events are typically handled differently. When I used to work events we received $20/hr so if we didn’t get tipped it wasn’t a huge deal but an extra $20ish was appreciated. If they’re getting paid a fair hourly wage then I think 20-25 per server is fine and probably a little more for the bartender, maybe 50.

Daughter's wedding was at a mostly inclusive county club type venue. There was a 20% service charge (total venue charges were around $20,000, including tax and service charge, for 100 guests). At our last pre-wedding meeting, we asked the coordinator for help figuring out tips (we did NOT want any tip jars out). Her suggestions were: $100 for each bartender, $50 for each valet, $100 for daughter's dedicated "bridal attendant" (who basically catered to her every possible need for the 9 hours we were onsite), $400 for the waitstaff (the coordinator asked that we let her divide it up, as "some of the staff work much harder than others"). In addition, although she NEVER suggested it/said a word about it, we included a $200 tip for the coordinator. Good luck! (We're in So Cal in a fairly high cost suburban area.)

Also, not related to the venue, we tipped the photographer and his assistant $200 (for him to distribute), the DJ $100, the cake delivery $25. HMUA was 20% of total charges. There were probably others, but that's what I remember off the top of my head. (In total, the wedding was about $30,000, and total tips were probably at least $1500 of that.)

I don’t think $53 is to much to tip your bartender for a 4 hour open bar. Seems fair to me. Although my fiancé and I like to make sure we tip well especially if we get excellent service.

There’s a bunch of tip chart things on Pinterest too

We gave each server/bartender $30 each (in addition to the 20% service fee—service fee does NOT go to the servers). We would have given more since generally servers make minimum wage (or just above it) but we knew servers at our venue are actually paid very well ($20 an hour) but if they weren’t making that much already, we would’ve tipped more like $50 per server.


Also make sure to tip your servers in cash. If you just write it out on the bill, it often doesn’t get to them. My brother used to be a server at a wedding venue so I know things lol. He was never allowed to keep his tips unless he was handed the cash directly. I’m sure not ALL places are like that, but better safe than sorry.

View Quoted Comment 10% of $5300 is actually $530, which is unreasonable. $53 is only 1%. Thank you for the chart!

View Quoted Comment Super helpful, thanks!