Tip My Vendors!!

Venue - $10,004.50 – Low for the area and what is included. Includes ceremony (free), reception, 3 appetizers (incl. 3rd app for free), plated salad, pasta course, meal family style (upgraded to fancier beef for free orig. $5/person), cake from bakery, various desserts, bartenders, bar washes/mixes, security guard (free), and he did not charge for the kid’s meals ($50 total). He is supposed to include a free ice sculpture for working with a preferred vendor (DJ), but that hasn't been mentioned so it may have been forgotten since it's not in our contract. We signed with the DJ after the venue so I only have that by email. I didn't want to push it since they worked with us so much on the rest of the bill. We signed the contract to pay a minimum of $10,456, but he worked with us tremendously since we are under our minimum guest count. They’ve been fantastic. The amount does include a 10% service fee on the invoice. He called this a “gratuity” when he went over the bill before we booked, but they probably deserve a tip on top of that considering they are working with us so much when they didn’t have to.

Bakery – Do we tip the bakery? We paid the venue a per head cost and the bakery gets paid by the venue. Even though we didn’t reach our minimum, we are still getting a cake for 200 people.

Officiant - $500 – High for the area. We like him. He’s a cool guy. But FH was not happy with him when we met with him last Saturday because it was supposed to be a 30 minute meeting and it was over 3 hours because he kept getting spaced and off topic. And the whole thing about him being out of contact for all that time I messaged him with no response. I like the guy a lot, he just needs to be more organized. When we first met, he said he doesn’t expect tips on top of his price and he knows he is high for the area. He would have charged us $700, but because he had lots of medical bills from a recent head injury, he told us we could pay $500 in cash when booked, so he could pay down his bills. He is staying for the reception and drinking/partying.

Photographer - $2,322 – Average for the area, but I think her work warrants higher. We’ve become friends and I drool over her work. She’s amazing.

DJ - $1,740 – Slightly above average for our area. Includes Photo booth for 4 hours, Ceremony and Reception, medium sized package, 2 tree lights and 4 free uplights for working with preferred vendor (Venue). When we met in person first, he said his prices included tax and tip. He gave us a sale price he was running at the time and he matched our photo booth price we had from another company. He’s been great, but since we booked him, each time we meet with him he bulges his eyes and looks annoyed and says “Wow. I must have been in a really good mood to give you these prices. You guys got a really good deal.” I didn’t ask for him to come down on the photo booth price (by $300), he offered it and we agreed. So it makes me a little uncomfortable. That guy will not be our DJ that day. We haven’t met him. But we do know that this is one of the best companies in the area.

ETA:

Makeup Artist - $98 per person - Low for the area. I'm not really happy with the main lady or the other lady. I'm finally happy with the hair done by the third person, but I'm still not happy with the makeup. One bridesmaid will barely have any hair to style (short and straight) and at least one is doing their own foundation because the main lady who does makeup just loads it on. The $98 is per person, includes the travel to my friend's house (5 minutes from their houses) and has to be cash only. The main makeup lady is VERY pushy on upselling. She actually scheduled me for a facial when I said I wasn't interested and I had to call and cancel it later. I'm a pushover. I want to tip my hair person the day of, but don't want the main makeup lady to keep it all. Not sure how that works.

I tipped hair and makeup a flat 20%.

I gave each of the catering staff a flat amount which was 20% of the labor portion of my catering bill.

I sent a gift to the photographer (a gift box of local stuff since she's into that).

We gave the DJ a cash tip that was something like 15% of his total, but he was completely surprised by that (I guess for him it's not normal).

I didn't tip the officiant. Maybe I should have? I dunno. I sent her a nice card thanking her for the beautiful service though.

The Venue is where I get confused. Because it's the venue for the ceremony, catering, etc. So do I have to track down every single employee that day? Or do I just give the tip to the owner and say to distribute? And do you tip on the total amount or the amount before the tax and service fee? Because the tax and service fee at the venue adds $1,500.

I'm not tipping my photographer or dj, they own their businesses. I'm going to tip the hair and MUA 20%, I'm going to tip the photo booth attendant but I'm not sure how much. Our pastor isn't charging us for officiating, so I think I'm going to give him a big tip. I'm going to tip the servers and bartender but I have no idea how to figure out how much to tip them, I'm going to look into Janeen's suggestion of 20% of the labor portion.

I actually didn't tip the venue people (the aquarium staff). I probably should have because they did a great job, and I would have just given them the same flat amount as the catering staff.

My invoice for the caterers told me how many people they were billing me and exactly the amount per hour that they were charging (I don't know the exact number but it was like 3 bartenders at $20 an hour etc etc etc). So say the total labor bill of my catering bill was 4k (also not my exact number....I don't remember it). Well I took out $800 and gave it in a single envelope to their catering manager. I knew there were 9 people working, so it was to be split amount them all evenly and I know that the manager did because the bartenders gave me hugs and thanked me when it was time to go.

I guess there is where my simplicity plan makes things difficult Our invoice from the venue is just an Excel sheet. Literally, it has 3 totals on it. It says $8,500 ($42.50 x 200) plus $850 (10% service fee) plus $654.50 (7% tax). Again, this one bill paid for the venue staff, catering staff (in-house), bakery, 2 bartenders, security guard and maybe a coat closet attendant (contract says dependent on weather). We just paid on a per head basis and they pay all the staff behind the scene.

WW; please make a sticky about this!!! It's such a complicated question, it takes time to answer, and the answers should be available without using search, which stinks.

Venues; find out exactly what that 'gratuity' is. In most cases, it's the staff pay, not a tip per se. Find out if the Maitre' D gets more. In this situation, I don't recommend a percentage of the bill; I'd do 20-50.00 per server, probably 200 for the maitre d' (in my area, it's usually much more......for that but they are really in the position to make your night incredible, and I have to say tht most of mine do. If your sales person/banquet director who has been working with you has been so great, I'd suggest a non money gift; a bottle of wine or a gift card to a restaurant (you'd be amazed how rarely these people get to go out, lol....) Bartenders? Always a weird area. Probably the same as the servers, though I have never been to a wedding where the guests didn't throw a couple of bucks with every drink.

Bakery? Possibly a little tip for delivery and setup, but not really necessary if it's all included.

I don't even know where to go with your particular officiant; "cool" does not negate "disorganized and spaced out. The whole discussion about paying cash so he can pay down his bills is unprofessional and TMI, and beyond a single glass of wine and a few minutes of cocktail hour chat with interested relatives, your officiant should not be 'drinking and partying' at the wedding unless they know you (as in family pastor) or you've ordained a friend. "Disorganized" and "officiant" do not go together. Confirm the time, place and of names. No tip in this case, sorry.

I don't understand tipping DJ's or photographers. It's like tipping your dentist. Write a fabulous, detailed review everywhere you can.

Hair/MU; depending on how you all look, 15-20. per person, directly to each one.

Yes, give the owner/manager the whole of the tip for the venue and have them distribute it. It would be helpful to know the amount of people who will be working your event. Also, tip BEFORE the service fees and taxes.

Bizarre. I wanted a detailed invoice, but that's just how I work.

In that case I would default to $20-$50 per person like Celia suggests and ask the venue manager how many staff they expect that night. They have to know who is going to be there since everyone should already be scheduled.

The "don't tip the owner" thing is faulty. Many times the owner be the last person to be paid; we pay everyone else first, and usually take up the slack when there is anything over the top to be done.

As for staff? Ask your venue person how many people are working (how many BT, waiters, bus, and Maitre D/bridal attendants, and then put that amount in an envelope to hand to your head guy there.

Thanks, Celia! I know it's impossible to say because every situation is different. That's why I included info and numbers (not trying to flaunt numbers) to try and get help so I don't stiff people. I'll ask the venue flat out about tipping policies and will pick him up a gift at the liquor store tonight on our last pick up of champagne I've actually already got our photographer a boudoir shoot booked with her new studio that she opened, so that referral gave her some money. This girl was NOT going to do boudoir before I talked her into it and she saw my photos! Plus, we probably have 1, if not 2, more referrals for a boudoir session for her. So I'm sure she appreciates the business Still want to get her something extra because she's amazing (at her job and as a person).

Thanks, everyone!

ETA: We didn't get a hugely detailed invoice because this is a family owned and operated party center in a small suburb of a small metro. They keep track of payments on paper. We were aware it was a flat fee per person ahead of time, so this isn't unusual. I know we'd get a more detailed bill from a big-named venue, but we are very happy with our venue.

Not tipping someone because they own their own business makes literally NO sense to me. But lets not got there. I feel like tipping a DJ or photographer is more like tipping a blackjack dealer. Yeah they get paid a lot, but if you win money you should tip. DJ's and photographers provide a service just like everyone else throw them a couple of bucks if they do a great job. Heres a link. https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-vendor-tipping-cheat-sheet