Tip jar on bar???

In my opinion, no. It's "tacky" and people will tip anyway. Did yours put one out?

My bartender didn't have one at my wedding, however I went to my cousins wedding last month and her bartender did which I found odd. We are already tipping the bartender so I don't personally think they should.

No, it was not ok. It is the hosts' responsibility to tip the staff. If I had noticed it, I would have asked someone to have it removed.

It's too late. I hate them and they are tacky as shit.

Every guest I have ever stood behind on line behind the bar has thrown a couple of bucks over the bar for each drink. It's as much a social convention as a monetary transaction, and it will happen tip jar or no.

If you're going to tip your bartenders, you can ask your venue to put a little sign or two on the bar saying that the tips have been hosted. It may or may not work.

This might have mattered if your post was dated prior to September 9 (hey! I was a MOG that day...freaking fantabulous night, btw). However, because you're asking and because other couples might be checking out this thread, I'll tell you what I'd tell my brides IF they were to ask about the tip jar on the bar: No, please don't. However, at this point, what's the point of revisiting the issue. What was far more noticeable to your guests (than the tip jar) was that you hosted a bar for theenjoyment and entertainment of your guests.

There's a trend that gives a couple lots of reasons to save their money on the bar...most of them bogus. So, sweetie, focus on what you did right and forget the rest. I promise you, a cash bar/no bar would have been a big discussion in many cars on the way home from your wedding. A tip jar? People did or didn't tip, and they wouldn't waste their breath talking about it again.

But for those with a wedding in the future -- no tip jars, okay?

Um, that cow is already out of the barn. No, they should absolutely not be putting a jar out or frankly accepting tips if the couple is already pre-paying the tip. Our bar was on consumption and a generous tip was built in to each drink.

Our bartender asked to put one out. We said no. We are paying him what will work out to be $75/hour once you factor in our hosting tip . Why does he need our guests to tip him?

That being said, I wouldn't care that much if I was at someone else's wedding and saw the tip jar honestly. Either FH or I would put a few bucks in there (if we had it on us) and move on. I doubt it impacted your guest's experience so don't worry about it!

Great question! I was at my nephew's wedding on Saturday and they had a tip jar on the bar. It made me wonder if they were double dipping since I assume they would be tipped by the bride/groom as well. This was a separate bar service than the catering. Since you saw the tip jar there, did you tip on top of it or no?

I feel like its so customary that I feel obligated to tip when I see one out. I felt bad at the last one as 1, i had no cash (i never do) and I was part of the WP so there was nothing else getting in that dress. FH had my purse with him the whole time. If there was a sign saying that person was taken care of, Id probably have felt better about it.

Personally I hate tip jars at weddings. It's unclassy. I had a friend who tipped his bartenders a large amount in advance and told them no tip jars...they did it anyway. Just awful.

I had our bartender remove the tip jar from the contract. My guests are tippers, jar or not. And the few who don't tip, jar won't make a difference.

Ugh so glad I live in country where tipping isn't customary.

Richard said it perfectly (as usual): " it's over and done with and it really reflects more on your vendor than you."

OP; don't feel bad about this now.....you hosted your bar, and you asked a question that others can learn from. One they probably didn't think about until now. So thanks and congratulations!

We never put tip jars out. Can people tip us if they want? Sure......we totally appreciate the tip too. It is something we never expect. I always tell our guests that our gratuity is in our pay checks. So if they too, they do know.

Okay sorry I wanted to add more info- I had a cow about it at the wedding. They took it down per my request. I'll add more information when I get home.

Well I actually have a lot to say about our bartender and unfortunately not many good things. My MOH wanted to do a shot and my aunt came over to do one as well with us. The bartender looked straight at me and said that DH and I get premium liquor and everyone else gets well and call. She grabbed both bottles and of course my aunt had seen the premium and wanted that. I instantly felt so awkward because it shouldn't have been out at all since we didn't pay for premium for our guests or ourselves- I had no idea that we got premium drinks. The bartender went on to say that she had an arrangement with my aunt. The bartender was telling my aunt to give her a tip for giving her premium. Apparently if guests want premium they had to pay- but this bartender was giving her premium liquor for tips for herself.

I tried to just say that I'd give my premium shot to my aunt and I'll take the titos but the bartender started to get angry with me. Her eyes were bulging like crazy and she was raising her voice. The music was loud so I can see how there may have been miscommunication but she didn't need to lose her temper. I walked away after doing the shot and DH mentioned the tip jar that was on the bar. I had an internal conniption and went and found a coordinator and a manager and told them what happened and that I'd like the tip jar to be put away NOW. I told them it was ridiculous and I was not happy. The bartender came over and told her manager she wasn't asking for tips which was a huge lie. She told my aunt to give her a tip for premium liquor right in front of me. And later I found out when our best man got a drink she tapped the tip jar and said "Treat 'bartenders name' right"

I didn't go back to the bar at all.

That is just gross. Whoever is in charge of this gets a nice fat detailed letter when you get home. But enjoy your honeymoon for now.

Honeymoon is over thank you Celia. We actually dropped by the venue to grab a cooler we forgot and I gave my full account of what happened to my coordinator that left before it happened (we got someone else to hold down the fort). Sadly DH told me after the drama happened he saw the general manager and bartender laughing together and they obviously were friends or on very good terms. Our coordinator is under that manager. So I'm not sure how much good my complaint will do. It'll all be in my reviews though.

Our venue puts one out regardless if we want it or not.