Tip etiquette

Tips should only be given after the honeymoon when you and new spouse are able to objectively assess their performance and given only to those who went above and beyond the call of duty. Do not tip anyone for being a no show or bad/mediocre service because you are essentially thanking them for treating you badly. Guests are not responsible for giving tips that the hosts are responsible for, regarding the bartender. Those who choose to tip anyway will do of their own preference but don’t put a jar on display to pressure them.


It’s impossible to predict before the wedding happens how they performed and you won’t have the right frame of mind on the wedding day to do so, which is why it is recommended to not give tips at the end of the night. Send them afterward.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the quick response. Wr aren't taking a honeymoon til next year so I feel like we should hand out tups in envelopes to each person. The venue is putting a tip jar for the bartender but my fiance is a dice dealer so he knows what its like to work for tips so I'm sure we will tip him or her separately. We are having a caricature that we're paying by the hour.....do we tip him? And what about the videographer?

View Quoted Comment Even if you aren’t having a honeymoon right away, it’s still wise to wait a couple days for the Cloud 9 feeling to fade so you both have a clear head and can objectively assess everyone’s performances. Send tips in person a few days after in person or via money transfer app and only to those who went above and beyond. You haven’t seen anyone’s work at your wedding so hold off until you do. A vendor can be awesome during planning stages and then badly bomb at the wedding itself. There are a number of posts on the forum where that has happened. If you give them a tip, it tells them to do the same to someone else.


You can put your foot down with the venue to not have the tip jar visible as those guests who regularly tip will do so regardless.

View Quoted Comment Ok. Thank you for your advice. My next question is that we are supplying our own linens and chair backs/sashes and our head table and candy table are table skirts that will require table clips and the venue said they've ever used them before which really surprised me. I've never used them either so I'm not sure how to give them instructions or what kind to buy that are easy to use but that will hold all night

View Quoted Comment This is something to discuss with the month of coordinator. You don’t need to worry about it.


Most linens don’t use clips. That may be why they are unfamiliar.

View Quoted Comment Ok. Thank you for your help