Tiny Destination Wedding Ettiquette

That’s exactly why I didn’t elope. It was going to be more disappointing for family and friends than for me not having one. But I always dreamed growing up of having a traditional wedding so I’m not devastated about it and am actually quite excited

This is your wedding and ultimately it should reflect you and your partner. So if you really want a small destination wedding, you should have it! If you want to include family/friends more, you could have a reception when you return or you could live stream your ceremony for those at home to watch.
As far as the random plus one, that’s a bit more difficult. I completely understand your stance on not wanting a person you don’t know in attendance when your wedding is so small and intimate, and you are already forfeiting inviting your own friends. But, on the other hand, wedding etiquette says all guests should be extended a plus one for destination weddings since guests are investing a substantial amount of time and money traveling for your event.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the response, Cece. I'm glad you got to have the home bound wedding of your dreams! I wish it were that simple for us. No matter what, our wedding would be destination since our families are from opposite coasts! If only it were that simple

View Quoted Comment We did not have a homebound wedding. We haven’t gotten married yet. We are actually having a small, intimate destination wedding like yourself! I absolutely love destination weddings and have always found them to be the most fun! Unfortunately, there are definitely some trade-offs, as you are now experiencing. Our guest list has definitely been the most stressful part of planning. Ultimately though, we decided to invite only those closest to us, and have extended plus ones to everyone not in a relationships, as they are investing a lot of time and money traveling to support us, so we wanted to make sure they had a traveling partner if that would make things more comfortable/fun for them.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the response, Taylor. I'm glad you got to have the home bound wedding of your dreams! I wish it were that simple for us. No matter what, our wedding would be destination since our families are from opposite coasts! If only it were that simple

Well, many people have a destination wedding just for the higher decline rate, which I think is something you prefer. Just because your family is inviting themselves now, doesn't mean they will be able to pull a 5.5 or 14 hour flight in September. Maybe you'll get your elopement afterall.

View Quoted Comment Sorry Cece, I think I originally was trying to respond to another commenter who had a hometown wedding lol. But I do appreciate the input. There are a lot of factors about a plus one that freak Me out, especially from this certain cousin- she attracts obnoxious men- but I suppose it's only fair to allow her a travel buddy. Oh and good luck my fellow traveling bride! What destination are you planning?

View Quoted Comment Girl, you better knock on wood! I invited everyone that HAS to come. Just the people that raised us and our siblings under God.

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We're bicoastal as well (he's from California where we live, and I grew up in NH). We're not inviting a single person from the east coast to our wedding (with the exception of my parents). And I mean no one. My sibling isn't even getting invited.

Instead, we're having a party on the east coast a few months later to celebrate with everyone. That way, I can keep the small(er) wedding that I want, I don't have to feel guilty that people are having to drop a ton of money right before Christmas to come to California, and none of my family has to feel guilty about RSVPing "no".

In the end, you have to do what works best for you and your fiancé, and only you two. If you want tiny - go tiny!

View Quoted Comment No worries 😀 And I completely feel you when it comes to being uncertain about who a guest will bring – we have one of those also lol One of my really close guy friends seems to always have a new girlfriend, and they tend to always have “colorful” personalities (and aren’t afraid to show them to strangers! 😂) I have no idea who (or what haha) he will end up bringing for a date by the time our wedding rolls around; but I have just chalked it up to part of the wedding experience. I’m just happy he will have fun and be comfortable while traveling for our wedding - that is definitely more important to me than his plus one. And it’s not like she is going to be included in wedding photos or anything, so I doubt her presence is going to really affect my day at all.

Unfortunately you've now involved people in the elopement. You're now having a small destination wedding. If invitations haven't gone out yet (verbal or written), I would suggest keeping it to immediate family and significant others and not involving any extended family.