Tiered invitations

Yes this is controversial topic that people feel very passionate about lol.
You can skip save the dates for 2nd tier (or all together) & send invites earlier than usual. This will give time for 1st tier to RSVP first & as you receive declined RSVPs you can extend invite to someone else.
Question: if people who likely won’t come are family, can’t you just talk to them & see if they can/cannot come?

View Quoted Comment That's what I was thinking and I'm hopeful I can persuade my fiance to go that route. But just in case I wanted to have a plan in place.

I agree with PP. Also, you want to avoid any social media or talking about your wedding to people. Because, for example, if you announce on FB that you sent out STDs or even invitations, then the second tier will know that they were second choice when they don't receive one or receive one later than others.

Only send save the dates to people you are 100% inviting.

If your guest list is already complicated, you can always skip Save The Dates. They aren't required at all, and if it'll make things complicated it's totally fine to just not do them. One less thing to worry about! Are any of your guests traveling from very far away, or is it a destination wedding?

View Quoted Comment Yeah our family members are coming in from all over the states and even one from outside the country. My fiance's list has a lot of people that "definitely won't come" that live far away as well. It's those people I wish we could just cut entirely. I don't like banking on that

View Quoted Comment

I agree with you, your FH is playing a dangerous game - I had guests from all over the US and abroad and a very low decline rate. Assume everyone you invite will likely come (I've never heard of a 100% acceptance rate but you really can't bank on any guaranteed declines)