Tickets To The Reception?

I would avoid this, at all costs. First, it's super offensive to invite someone to the ceremony and not the reception. Second, you can't "raffle" off invites and give people tickets to attend your reception (like it's a show they paid for?). I would just find a venue & budget that can accommodate all your family or limit the guest list to immediate family. If you go the way you are thinking, it will offend SO many people and come off tacky.

View Quoted Comment This x1,000,000.

Im in the exact same situation as you and we just had to limit guests on my side, those that we could not invite I personally called and explained and everyone was very understanding, no hurt feelings at all, tickets and raffles might hurt some feelings!

This is extremely rude and could offend most people on your guest list. Everyone invited to the ceremony must be invited to the reception because the reception is your way of thanking the guests for coming to your ceremony. If you can't afford to have a big reception then you must cut your guest list or have your reception at a non-meal time such as 2-4 p.m. and have light refreshments instead of a meal. This is called a cake and punch reception.

A raffle? I would never enter into a raffle to be invited to a wedding. This is so so rude. I would steer clear of this idea 100%.

I would highly advise against doing anything you described. It sounds horribly rude and embarrassing to have to "win" a spot in a raffle to attend a wedding... just cut your side's guest list down. That's what we all have to do.

Sorry I worded it wrong when I said raffle. But thank you for the advice. I got the idea for tickets because I attended a wedding like this. Everyone was invited to the ceremony but only certain people received a ticket/invite with the address to the reception. I was thinking possible raffle/name out of that pick if I were to do it do ppl wouldn't be offended. So it didn't see. like I didn't pick them to go.

Unfortunately I cannot afford to feed everyone. With my 1st cousins, aunt's, uncles and their spouse it's 200 ppl plus his family 240 plus our close friends 260. We can afford between 80-100 ppl.

We were also thinking of possibly having a party at our house after the wedding for those who couldn't come to the reception

Host the wedding you can afford. If you can only afford 100 people, pick the 100 people that are most important for you to invite. (Don’t forget, this includes their spouses or significant others.) And only invite people to the ceremony who are invited to the reception.

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Doesn't matter how you word it, it is still considered extremely rude to invite guests to your ceremony but, not to the reception.

If you can only afford 80-100 guests then you only invite 80-100 guests. It may be easier for you to build your guest list instead of cutting people. Start by adding your immediate family (parents, grandparents, siblings and their significant others). Next, add your WP and their partners. Do you still have room? If so, then add close friends, etc. Keep adding people until you reach your numbers. A simple way to keep the guest list down may be to not invite any cousins.

Another solution is to push the wedding back until you can save up enough money to host everyone you want to.

Host the wedding you can afford.

If I was a guest I would find this extremely rude and gift grabby. I wouldn't come at all. If you can't invite someone to both parts, don't invite them to any of it. The reception is a thank you for coming to the ceremony.

Ok, thank you all for your insight

I come from a big family and my FH's family is small. However, we would never invite people to the ceremony and not to the reception. As PP's said, the reception is to thank people for coming to your ceremony. I get the idea of picking out of a hat so it doesn't look like you picked and chose your favorites, but that is not the best way of going about it. What if a woman gets to come, but her brother doesn't? A man does, but his son doesn't? Do you package people together so at least partners/spouses are together? Weddings aren't a concert where you hope to be picked. You're either invited or not. If you can afford to throw a party at home for all of those people, why not just make that the reception? It would also add more stress to your plate to be worried about who would come and who wouldn't. I would skip this idea all together and invite people to both or neither.

I've never heard of raffling off invitations to B-list people. This is super offensive to me as I'm sure it would be to your guests. I would just work on cutting the guest list if you can't have everyone there. It's all or nothing they're invited or they're not. But a raffle is not going to go over well.

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If you have a party at your house, it's not going to cost any less than a reception of the same formality/with the same activities. Plus, if you are trying to host 160 people (the 260 you want minus the 100 you can afford), you are not going to be able to do it at your house.

Limit your guest list to the ones you can afford. People are much less offended by being told, "We had to limit the guest list for budgetary reasons" than by being invited just to the ceremony and not the reception.

My family is not quite as large as yours, but it is larger than my FH's. My mother wanted to invite all of my dad's cousins and aunts and uncles, but we had to make cuts to get under our limit. I empathize with trying to please everyone and being close with a lot of people, but this is just going to be a bigger mess for you, and hurt a lot of people that you love. Either cut the guest list (or build up from zero, like a PP said) or save until you can host everyone.

I'm confused by this. Everyone invited to the ceremony must be invited to the reception. The ceremony IS the wedding. It's rude to invite people to come to the event to thank them for a wedding they didn't witness. The ticket thing is pretty offensive, and people will wonder why they do/don't have one